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Eurovision 2015 as it happened: Flying Conchita, vanishing women, and Swede heroes

All the action, live from Vienna.

IT’S BEEN A beautiful day, and it was topped off with a beautiful Eurovision.

No. Seriously.

Here at DailyEdge.ie we blogged every moment, every fist of pure emotion, every windswept diva, every set of glowing white teeth, and every prolonged high note that Vienna threw our way… and there were a lot.

Sweden’s Mans Zelmerlow won the title with Heroes, and well deserved it was.

Here’s how it went:

Have you calmed down yet? Have you opened the snacks, popped open the rock shandy? Nicky Byrne has signed off the Million Euro Challenge, and now we wait…

DON’T FORGET. The annual Eurovision drinking game. It has to be done. Prepare for the Australia snark.

Well that was a classy opening. This guy is the undoubted star of it all. He’s just happy to be there, guys.

alad

An instrumental version of Rise Like a Phoenix, and now Conchita in a sparkly purple number. We’re spoilt.

acon

Hair watch: It’s long

CONCHITA IS FLYING. WE REPEAT, CONCHITA IS FLYING.

aconc

Here’s all the contestants going on stage, minus us :(

Poor Molly, how she at least got a ticket in the nosebleeds.

Here’s the running order. Great bunch of lads, great bunch of lads.

  1. Slovenia
  2. France
  3. Israel
  4. Estonia
  5. United Kingdom
  6. Armenia
  7. Lithuania
  8. Serbia
  9. Norway
  10. Sweden
  11. Cyprus
  12. Australia
  13. Belgium
  14. Austria
  15. Greece
  16. Montenegro
  17. Germany
  18. Poland
  19. Latvia
  20. Romania
  21. Spain
  22. Hungary
  23. Georgia
  24. Azerbaijan
  25. Russia
  26. Albania
  27. Italy

Someone make this happen. WHO CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

 

It’s Nicky Byrne, FYI.

Oh, take your time, we only have 27 acts to get through. More cheesey montages please, especially if they include more Conchita lookalikes.

aaav

Aaaaaand we’re off. Finally. Here’s Slovenia with their headphones, they wear to make them feel more relaxed.

Listen, we’re not gonna sugar coat it, you look like those lads on the back of the bus wearing unplugged Beats by Dre. Song isn’t bad though, thoughts?

asolv

I mean, surely this hair-blowing situation is impairing the audio experience?

asolv

Any theories?

Oh.

Hide your ice cream France, look at those gulls behind you.

afran

This is Lisa Angell, singing N’oubliez Pas. It’s quite… intense.

*double takes*

an

Yes, they are clothed. But it is worrisome.

aflesh

Up next, we’ve the Israeli Justin Timberlake. Nadav is singing Golden Boy, which could have been written by an Irish mammy.

Just an FYI, anyone calling himself the ‘king of fun’, probably isn’t.

agolden

Here’s Estonia. These pair are definitely gonna ride.

aride

Fun fact, Elina was discovered on YouTube by the lad, Stig. Romance.

Marty has completely lost the run of himself. He can’t help the laughter, he’s mumbling Republic of Telly.

Keep it together Marty.

Is everyone else seeing this? There is more colour in the UK’s act than Georges Street right now.

aggg

Think of the positives though…

Can we all congratulate Armenia on their attempts to hit every note ever created?

Most importantly, these lads in the audience. Come to Ireland lads, plenty for you here.

ahay

THEY KISSED AGAIN. We’re sensing a pattern here. Just get together already Monika and Vaidas. Lithuania, can’t help but feel cheery.

Feeeeeeling looooooove.

akiss

Here’s Serbia, with Beauty Never Lies.

Bojana Stamenov is killing it. Fingers crossed for a dark horse winner.

BELTER.

aserb

OK, just gonna say it, Norway is a bit of a tune. And Debrah Scarlett’s hair is fab.

aahair

We’re just a little bit jealous.

Sweden has arrived, the favourite to win. Thoughts?

Other than, ‘he’s a ride’?

af

I think it’s very Imagine Dragons. Observe.

ImagineDragonsVEVO / YouTube

Ooooh, Cyprus is up now. In black and white.

So hipster.

Their song is One Thing I Should Have Done by John Karayiannis. It’s all very mushy.

ag

Where are the circular pianos? The spinning clowns? The gyrating hips? Give us something!

How are you getting on with the drinking game? I’d play it with some water but I can’t really take the time to go to the loo that often. I mean, Marty is VERY BEMUSED.

*gulp*

YO. AUSTRALIA.

22ea391d45274d3a19c4ae7bec788f96c3b3cbb8061bb4e5d94959a33af748c2

Also, please return Olly Murs’ general being.

Can’t fault the hat though. Maybe we were too harsh on Guy Sebastian?

aaus

But this valid point can’t be ignored:

If you’re doing the drinking game, you’ll probably need to switch to minerals due to the Australian snark rule.

Belgium boy Lorde is pretty great, and pretty scary.

ayeah

STAY. AWAY. Loic. Also, you’re 19. Achieve less.

aguy

Next up, we have Austria, last year’s winners, with The Makemakes.

The whatwhats? JESUS LOOK AT THEM.

The hat, the hair, we can’t.

ajames

Here we go GREECE. A strong ballad, but a strong breeze has hit the stage and she’s gonna catch her death in that dress.

adance

Sorry love, your attempts to ‘catch’ it will only fail.

Hold on. Hold on a damn second ‘Montenegro’.

awag

W-w-w-wagner?

Wagner-gets-voted-off-X-f-007

Germany was a bit meh, wasn’t it?

Any predictions for a winner yet? William’s got a tip for ya. Heard it here first, so you did.

ahhya

HERE. FIRST.

There’s Poland again, flogging their fragrant washing detergent.

addd

We already got the industrial sized in Aldi.

Latvia rocked, AND she came dressed as the red dancing emoji lady.

alattt

0S6L28a6_400x400 Twimg Twimg

 

alatt

While we like Romania’s necklace tie thing, he looks too like Pitbull for us to concentrate.

apitbull

JLO gonna pop out any minute? Fingers crossed.

They can’t, they won’t, they never will… stop the party.

Here’s Spain, with Amanecer and the industral wind machine again.

Wind machine watch: Getting up to like a 7 on the Beaufort scale.

ayo

Jesus, is it just us or is it getting hot in here, Spain?

adanceee

aaabn

Georgia is a stand out, she looks like she’d actually kill you if you dared not give her ten.

agoth

But who does she remind you of…

Oh yeah… that goth kid from school.

Up next, Azerbaijan, with Hour of the Wolf.

The song isn’t up to a whole lot, but these dancers are wrecking the place.

We approve.

akat

Whoa, Russia knocked it out of the park.

Singer Polina Gagarina looked and sounded like something from Frozen.

aruss

afrozen

Only two more left lads. HANG ON IN THERE.

I’m trying to.

The crowd keep the pride going during Russia’s performance. Apt for the day that’s in it :)

arussss

Finally, Italy finish us off with three tenor-like lads.

I have no idea what these lads are saying but their hair and brows are on POINT.

This guy SO doesn’t need these glasses though. Chancer.

aita

CONCHITA WATCH.

She’s got long hair, still, and a fabulous suit jacket dress that we have to compare.

aconch

Sorry…

maxresdefault

Oh great, the recaps. Because once simply wasn’t enough.

Here comes the interval act. It’s like Whiplash all over again.

awhipl

ALL THE EMO KIDS HAVE TAKEN OVER.

aemoo

The guy in the black hates his life.

C’mon lads…. I’ll start you off.

The hiiiiiiiiills are alive…

branch-sound-of-music-2-alternate_525

This guy and his crazy eyes are stealing the show.

awhat

I’m not sure if it’s a show or a sugar-induced hallucination. I’ve eaten a lot of Skittles.

Oh, other people see him too.

More recaps. Will they recap the recaps next?

Anyway, here’s the numbers to vote. Full deets over with RTE.

avorertet

Look at Mary Berry watching the Eurovision with a glass of pink stuff.

The things she must have said!

CFuKaw-VAAAwWUr bbceurovision bbceurovision

What about Nicola Sturgeon, any craic from her?

CONCHITA WATCH. Her hair is now short. How does she do it?

aconccc

She has as much right as Australia, we say!

From Sunday Times columnist India Knight:

Thanks. Means a lot.

*sobs into piano ballad*

This 14-year-old winner of the junior Eurovision Vincenzo Cantiello just outsang the whole competition.

abnn

He’s just wonderful, God bless him!

stutters Marty.

It’s all very overwhelming.

They’re doing a montage of previous winners.

Guess who showed up.

aaajohnny

The Eurovision has just won the Guinness World Record for the longest running music competition in the world.

“And that’s only tonight lads.”

You’re only gas Marty.

Montenegro is first up to vote.

amon

What on EARTH is going on with her outfit?

Their twelve points went to Serbia, anyway. Nice start for them.

Malta gave their 12 to Italy.

It’s all politics lads.

Finland is SO EXCITED.

afin

Serious white jacket from Finland, Joan Burton would be jealous.

They gave their 12 to Sweden.

Greece gave their 12 to Italy.

Early board is looking like so…

asus

Romania have gifted Italy with their 12 PWNT.

We still haven’t gotten over Susie.

Where art thou Susie?

asuss

LOOK at this lad’s hair.

Stop waving, and tell us that Belarus gave 12 points to RUSSIA.

astop

The shade handed out by your wan on the left.

Albania give their 12 to Italy.

This guy has committed so many fashion crimes in such a small margin, we can’t.

aaaln

Moldova saved our eyes by giving 12 to Romania.

Can’t stop thinking about Susie. Susie, you ok hun?

Latvia just gave Sweden their 12 points and Serbia to Montenegro, Denmark to Sweden.

Leaderboard at the moment:

aloeado

Hold on, who slipped Katherine Jenkins into the green room?

arus

Forget Susie, where did Estonia’s bird go?

adissp

Belgium, represented by the lad from The Artist and the Nespresso ads, just gave 12 points to Sweden.

aladd

WHY AREN’T THE LADS DISAPPEARING?

SCARLET ALERT. Austria and Germany are the only two with no points so far.

The UK have 1.

Morto for all involved.

There’s our Nicky!

We gave one to the UK. You’re welcome.

alikeire

Germany gave their 12 to Russia. But more importantly… that DRESS.

They’re laughing WITH each other, not AT each other.

aluagh

Win win.

We’re half way through the voting. Here’s the leaderboard.

amam

People aren’t happy with Ireland’s one point to the UK.

Sorrynotsorry.

Austria is having a damn party.

aeuro

They gave their 12 points to Australia. Jesus wept.

ayeahh

Niall, it would have been too good. TOO good.

 

alfs-752x501

NIGELLA.

So, the UK aren’t going to win. But Nigella looked fierce doling out those results.

anig

Their 12 went to Sweden.

NADIA. WHERE ARE ALL THE GALS GOING?

anad

Susie? Estonia gal? Nadia from Georgia? Why wasn’t Nigella invited?

Poland sent the ultimate Irish festival hunzo to give their vote. Sweden get their 12.

airish

Will this ever end? I doubt it. I can’t remember a time when the Eurovision wasn’t on.

Sweden is still in the lead, with eight countries still to vote, not counting the three vanishing women.

Sweden are running away with this.

Cyprus gave their 12 to em.

We’re still not over this Russian dad joke though. Divils.

Toby Yeah / Vine

That’s it… nobody can catch them, Mans Zelmerlow has won for Sweden with Heroes.

aswed

WELL DONE YOU BEAUT.

Susie, Tanya from Estonia and Nadia from Georgia all came back in the end.

asusssss

What a happy ending. God bless us everyone.

There’s Sweden now, delighted with life.

It’s their 6th win, putting them right behind us as the second most successful in the contest.

agaryy

Don’ttakeourcrowndon’ttakeit.

Conchita and Mans are our OTP to be honest.

ayoo

Some final words from an elated Mans:

We are all heroes, no matter who we are, who we love, what we believe in, we are all heroes.

#PREACH

Here’s the final tally.

ayooooo

Congrats Sweden. There have been laughter, tears, minor breakdowns… but you won.

ajjk

GOODNIGHT VIENNA, and you lot. Off to bed with you.

Author
Nicola Byrne
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