Diego Sideburns Diego Sideburns

1. You know and adore The Square theme song

“BAGS MORE… BAGS BETTER”

2. There’s almost always a sparrow flying around under the glass roof, among the sad lost helium balloons

And you’ve shielded your food from stray bird poo missiles.

3. You’ve known the panic of losing your mam in Heatons

The pilgrimage to the customer service desk to be reunited. Sometimes they even let you sit behind the desk like a tiny member of staff.

4. The brief window of time when there was a Marks and Spencer was very special

Even if it felt like it was only there for five minutes. Never forget.

5. The fountain (RIP) was where all the emos hung out

It was also fondly referred to as ‘The Rocks’.

6. The Starbucks on the third level is the best people-watching spot on the entire island of Ireland

You can make one flat white last three hours.

7. Captain America’s was an institution that has never been replaced

RIP

8. You remember the roving spotlight shaped like an apple in long-gone kids shop Adam’s

So high-tech. So fancy.

9. You’re sick of the joke people make about the Square getting its name because people from Tallaght can’t spell Pyramid

Yawn.

10. You know at least one couple whose paths first crossed in the Plaza

Probably while listening to Basshunter.

11. You have stuffed yourself with Viennetta at many a Leisureplex birthday party

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Bonus points if you lost a tooth in the ball pool.

12. You also sweated around the Quasar by the cinema many, many times

So sweaty. So perilous.

13. You’re oddly proud that the Domino’s in Tallaght is allegedly ‘the busiest in Europe’

Anyone got a code?

14. When The Square finally got a Tiger you just felt like Tallaght really deserved it, you know?

Thank you, Scandinavia.

15. You still resent the Roches Stores transformation into a Debenhams

A sad day for the parish, and indeed the country.

16. You know that spicebags begin and end at LY Garden

With satay sauce, obviously.

17. The Tallaght Nandos is the best one in Dublin

This is an undisputed fact following rigorous county-wide testing.

18. The arcade out in the Square car park was a Forbidden Zone for you as a child

“Mind those CARS”.

19. There was a time where you couldn’t go to the Square without a bunch of lads letting off a stink bomb in one of the lifts

Lads. Lads. Lads.

20. You remember legging it across the blue bridge from Old Bawn

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Headed for the Argos car park.

21. You were devo when the Abberley closed down but DELIRA when it opened back up

(Shoutout to Molloys, Speaker Connolly and the Belgard.)

22. You know that the McDonalds in the Square and the one with the drive-thru are like two different worlds

In the Square – with your mam and dad. Drive-thru – splitting a single medium fries between you and four of your friends over 2 hours.

23. The fact The Square still doesn’t have a Penneys makes you feel really hard done by

Liffey Valley’s got one. When will it be Tallaght’s turn?

24. You never shut up about the Dublin Mountains being ‘right on your doorstep’

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It’s practically the countryside!

25. You owned a ‘Talk To The Paw’ hoodie

Which you purchased in No Name.

26. You remember when the Square security banned kids from hitching a lift on their parents’ trolleys

It was due to several ‘toppling incidents’.

27. You’re still devastated they got rid of the downstairs of Easons

Along with the spectacular stationery corner.

28. You look forward to the Breathnach’s Bargains annual newspaper ad detailing their ‘Halloween Bag Of Crap’

So festive.

29. The Gardaí having to redirect traffic on the Belgard Road because McDonald’s were doing a free breakfast is your favourite news story of 2016

God bless us, everyone.

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