IT’S IRELAND’S WEEK. So here are some essential truths…
1. The further away from Dublin you get the more likely you are to have strangers in cars pointing at you.
Don’t worry. There’s a code.
2. ‘Sure look’ is an appropriate response in a wide variety of scenarios
We say it best, when we say nothing at all.
3. The same goes for the likes “sure this is it” and “where would you be going” and “there’s more of it”
Entire conversations can be held in this way.
4. If you are using someone else’s bathroom, choose your towel wisely
The fanciness of the towel directly correlates to the level of importance of the visitor. Know your place and use the appropriate towel.
5. Telling someone you paid over €6 for a pint will get at least an hour of chat going
You will be asked to repeat your story at least three times, due to incredulity.
6. We will not rest until we figure out who we know in common
Where are you from again? Youghal? Do you know Spicy Collins? I was in the Gaeltacht with him in 1997.
7. Going to the pub “just for one” is a national joke
See you in Whelan’s dancing to Mr Brightside at 2.47am.
8. You can tell a lot about a person depending on how they pronounce ‘scone’
“Scon”?
Notions.
9. Nobody knows how to get to the Guinness Storehouse, Ireland’s top tourist attraction
SUCH complicated directions. Just use a map and leave us alone.
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