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Tuesday 12 November, 2024
Tuesday 12 November, 2024
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19 terrifying things you learn by the time you're 29
1. 29 is more terrifying than 30
Thirty has a nice rounded edge. You get to have a big party. You get to joke about being 30. Twenty-nine seems older somehow. More menacing.
2. You can’t remember what you were doing at 19
You must have been in college right? Or working in Woodies? Living with Dave, Susan, Caroline and Cormac? Drunk?
3. Or 25
You were… in Australia? Working in that recruitment firm? Drunk?
4. But yet you still think of yourself as 17
And you have years to go before you have to think about serious things. YEARS!
5. So why does everyone else seem so grown up?
(Pssst, here’s a tip. They’re not)
6. You can drink whenever you want
Wine with brunch? SURE! Just swept the floor? HAVE A CELEBRATORY BEER!
This often leads to hangovers at 8pm and realising you’ve eaten an entire wheel of cheese in front of Grand Designs.
http://imgur.com/gallery/GnbM85B
7. And it’s totally fine to include alcohol in your weekly shop
Few bottles of red. In case anyone calls around.
Oh, and you do a weekly shop, because you’re that grown up.
8. You start a sentence with “when I was in college…”, and then realise that it was at least ten years ago
9. Hangovers. Those damn hangovers
10. Grey hairs don’t just happen to old people
11. Eventually you will have to find the biting point
Twenty-nine and can’t drive? Come on now.
12. The books you read now will never be as fantastic as the books you loved as a child and a teenager
If only it were acceptable to read The Famous Five or Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret on the Luas.
13. Ditto with films
Labyrinth, The Goonies, The Mighty Ducks. My Girl. They just don’t make them like they used to.
14. Saving. Everyone around you is saving
You’re almost certain you have a €2 coin on your bedside locker. Other people have actual thousands squirrelled away in special bank accounts.
15. Super successful celebrities are all younger than you
Emma Stone is 25.
Zac Efron is 26.
Rihanna is 26.
Ed Sheeran is 23.
16. You don’t give a damn what people think about you
Which only makes you realise how much of a damn you used to give.
17. Hanging around with your parents is something you look forward to
And they were right. About everything.
18. Time really does fly
It’s already August. Think about that for a minute (or 30 minutes, because time has lost all meaning)
19. You don’t have to settle
Want to do a Masters? Go ahead! Want to change jobs? What’s stopping you? Got some wanderlust? Satisfy it! The only person stopping you… is you.
Also, you’re still in your twenties. You young pup!
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Books Films GETTING OLD ravages of time Rihanna turning 29