TODAY, WE LEARNED that the PSNI is handing out flip flops to weary women spotted struggling home in high heels after a night out. You just have to give them kudos for this spot-on recognition of women’s needs.
They’re not every woman’s cup of tea, and some people can’t figure out why anyone would wear them at all. But gals who enjoy wearing heels will testify that it’s an emotional rollercoaster. A beautiful, studded, glittery, painful rollercoaster.
Here’s what you need to understand.
They are beautiful
Mmmf.
Put quite simply, some shoes are just nice to look at. And it’s even nicer to look down and see them on our feet.
It’s extremely hard to say no to another pair
Try them on? No, I couldn’t possibly…
FINE. You’ve twisted my arm. I will buy this pair of black sandals, bringing the number of pairs of black heels in my possession to six.
The triumph of actually being able to walk in them
LOOK AT MEEEE! I can walk, I can dance, I can do anything!
That confident strut a particularly great pair of heels gives you
The sidewalk is our catwalk. Bow down.
Feeling like a lithe-limbed gazelle
It doesn’t matter what height you are really. Putting on a pair of heels turns you into a Victoria’s Secret model – it’s a fact.
Dreading the moment the balls of your feet begin to burn
It’s starting. Soon we’ll be walking like this:
Learning the true importance of sitting down
Wearing heels gives you a new respect for chairs, couches, window ledges, steps, and anything big enough to perch on.
Knowing that when they have to come off, they have to come off
It seems absurd that anyone would prefer to walk in bare feet rather than spend another second in heels, but seriously. It’s better. Which leads to…
Love and appreciation for the person who invented folding flats
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The pride of wearing heels for the whole night
“I didn’t take my shoes off once” is a phrase often uttered with considerable satisfaction by women who wear heels. Admirable.
The horror of toe numbness
If you can feel any of your toes the day after wearing heels, well done. That’s all we can say.
And knowing that despite everything, you’ll do it all again
Because you love feeling like this:
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