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10 ways women are The Worst at music festivals

We are reaching dangerous levels of flower crown saturation.

THERE’S SOMETHING about music festivals that really brings out the worst in people. Ladies, what gets into ye at all?

Don’t worry ladies, the lads are in for it next.

1. Skipping the queue for the men’s toilet

11/7/2009 Oxegen Music Festivals Mark Stedman / RollingNews.ie Mark Stedman / RollingNews.ie / RollingNews.ie

Inexcusable in real life, but in festival life, it’s apparently no bother.

2. These

31/8/2014. Electric Picnic Music Festivals Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

Flower crowns are nearing dangerous levels of festival ubiquity. Cease and desist.

3. These

Casual-Bindi-Music-Festival1117019693 Vocativ Vocativ

Bindis are on their way to becoming as ubiquitous as the flower crown. Watch out.

4. Sitting on a tall lad’s shoulders

Look at Laura Whitmore there! Guilty as sin.

30/8/2014. Electric Picnic Music Festivals Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

If there isn’t already a tall boyfriend or pal on the scene, the formula for finding one is always the same:

  1. Notice tall lad
  2. Commence flirting with tall lad
  3. Shortly persuade tall lad to put you on his shoulders
  4. Look on as everyone else curses both of your existences

5. Screaming for their friends

31/8/2014. Electric Picnic Music Festivals Sam Boal / RollingNews.ie Sam Boal / RollingNews.ie / RollingNews.ie

It’s 7am and you’ve just managed to get an hour’s kip. Then, all of a sudden, from the depths of the campsite: “Maaaeeeeve. MMMMMAAAAAAEEEVEEE! MAAEEEVE! WHERE ARE YOU?”

Eardrum-bursting at the best of times, but on a festival Sunday morning? NOPE.

6. Complaining about the mud

Electric Picnic festival PA WIRE PA WIRE

We all knew it was coming. But for some reason, some people are just never prepared for it.

7. Complaining about the cold

Another thing we’re all pretty sure is coming.

29/8/2014. Electric Picnic Music Festivals Sasko Lazarov / RollingNews.ie Sasko Lazarov / RollingNews.ie / RollingNews.ie

This is why we pack ONE HUNDRED DENIER TIGHTS, PEOPLE. It’s the only way.

8. Trying to hang on to the fake tan

31/8/2014. Electric Picnic Music Festivals Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

It’s just not feasible. Mark our words: one hundred deniers!

9. Willingly showing people their arse cheeks

Electric Picnic Festival PA WIRE PA WIRE

They’re lovely, but most people would just rather not see them.

10. Taking photos of people on the campsite

2015 Coachella Music And Arts Festival - Weekend 2 - Day 1 Associated Press Associated Press

No one looks their best on a festival campsite. Reserve the selfies for when we’re actually all dolled up, back at home.

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Author
Valerie Loftus
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