IF YOU GO abroad and use these phrases, prepare for some funny looks.
1. Yer man
What you say: Dya know yer man?
What they hear: Do you know that man that belongs to you?
2. The yoke
What you say: That’s a great auld yoke.
What they hear: What a nice old wooden crosspiece my cow uses to pull a cart.
3. Shift
What you say: Did you get the shift?
What they hear: Has your place of employment given you more work?
4. Lash
What you say: We going on the lash?
What they hear: We going to whip each other?
5. Massive
What you say: You’re looking massive.
What they hear: You look huge.
6. Runners
What you say: That’s a lovely pair of runners.
What they hear: I find those two people running down the street to be attractive.
7. Hotpress
What you say: Will you put them in the hotpress.
What they hear: Press them together in an attempt to heat them up?
8. Gas
What you say: Sure that’s only gas.
What they hear: Oh, that gas leak? Don’t worry about it.
9. A fry
What you say: We’re having a fry this morning.
What they hear: We are sharing a single chip for breakfast.
10. I will, yeah
What you say: I will, yeah.
What they hear: Yes, you can be assured I will do this asap.
11. Jacks
What you say: I’m going to the jacks.
What they hear: I’m going to multiple men named Jack’s house.
12. Minerals
What you say: Don’t forget your minerals.
What they hear: Don’t forget to take your mineral supplement.
13. Jumper
What you say: He got a savage new jumper.
What they hear: He got a jumping, vicious, person.
14. Shoulder
What you say: Two shoulders of vodka please.
What they hear: Put vodka between my arms and neck, please.
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