1. First, choose your venue carefully

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2. And assess the menu with caution before making your decision

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3. No, really

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4. Remember, appearances can be cruelly deceptive

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5. Last bit of lunch-out advice: If you’re at a deli, never, ever ask for ‘a little bit’ of mayo.

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6. OK, now for anyone making their own sandwich.

First, make sure your filling placement is correct:

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7. The right ratio of ingredients is important too

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8. And it ALWAYS pays to be prepared

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9. Finally, if someone else is making you a sandwich, don't be afraid to give constructive feedback

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10. OK. When you have your lunch - and this is very important - secure it properly in the office fridge.

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11. Don't be afraid to use subterfuge. It's worth it.

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12. Because these guys are overstretched, and can only help with major incidents

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13. If you're eating at your desk, make sure you your sandwich is well-secured

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14. Because there's one of these in every office

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And nobody wants to be that guy.

15. OK, eating at your desk isn't a great idea. Maybe you should take your lunch out somewhere?

Yes, even if you got dressed very early in the morning.

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16. But just remember. Danger lurks at every turn.

DUN...

DUN...

DAAAAAAAHHHHH!

17. Actually, forget it. It's too much effort.

Maybe just go for the soup.

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Enjoy lunch!

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