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Dublin: 12 °C Monday 23 December, 2024

9 things everyone dreads about the dentist

Now spit.

DON’T WE ALL love the dentist?

Well, er, no actually.

The dentist’s chair calls to mind some kind of medieval torture device, glistening in the corner of a room laden with terrifying oral health posters and metal instruments. It’s an essential place for our health, but one most of us avoid at all costs.

Here are some of the reasons why…

1. Power-brush your teeth before

Sure, you brush your teeth twice a day. (Three times a day if you think you’re going to get lucky, am I right?)

But that doesn’t compare to the TURBO-BRUSH you give your teeth just before going to the dentist.

You’ve got to un-do all those months of sugary coffee and smoking. The dentist must never know.

2. The dreaded waiting room

The waiting room, with its crackly old telly and over-thumbed magazines.

Image: via Gifrific

Is the dentist’s waiting room really purgatory? Imagine an eternity reading a copy of National Geographic from 2009.

3. Dentist asks a question but you can’t answer because your mouth is full of hand

You sit down. The dentist starts doing their thang.

Then they casually ask you how your day was. WHILE their hand is doing its job in your gob.

Image: via Shutterstock

How are you supposed to answer?!

4. Rock the cool protective shades

The dentist hands you something… Oh, what’s that? Bad-ass orange shades?

Image: via Ebay

Well, they’re not so much rad shades as protective goggles – but we’ll take whatever cool points we can get at the dentist, frankly.

5. Get told to relax

“Relax, don’t worry … I’m just going to poke your gums with these sharp implements.”

Image: via Simpsonix

Hey, we ARE relaxed! Why don’t YOU relax?

6. Endure torture

YouTube/Keith Errington

Which is worse – the sucky mouth-hoover, the cold water-sprayer or the loud tooth-driller?

7. Get scolded about flossing

Going to the dentist is a bit like:

Image: via The Meta Picture

Or maybe more like:

Image: via QuickMeme

8. Stare at the ceiling

There’s nothing to do while you’re strapped into that chair except eyeball the ceiling.

Image: via ReactionGif

Or perhaps take a gander at some warning pictures of gum disease. Sweet. Nice view.

9. A flood of good intentions

But then! You get up from that menacing chair and your teeth look (and feel) SO GREAT!

Why did you wait so long to go to the dentist? Isn’t this feeling worth it?

Image: via Gif Awesomeness

That feeling lasts for about one afternoon, before you go back to the default mode of fearing and loathing the dentist. Sorry.

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