Monday 25 November, 2024

9 actual advent calendars for grown-ups

‘Tis the season for shots of whiskey.

TOMORROW IS DECEMBER 1: time for kids to open the first door and squabble over the chocolate.

But why should young people get all the fun? Here are the advent calendars for YOU.

1. Whiskey advent calendar

A shot of whiskey behind each door. And a different whiskey, at that. Probably put it out of view if you have a Christmas party.

2. Beer advent calendar

bestofbritishbeer.co.uk bestofbritishbeer.co.uk

Twenty-four different 330ml bottles of beer, just waiting to be sampled. (Not sure how you manage without putting it in the fridge, though.)

3. Bog roll advent calendar

Etsy Etsy

Excellent idea. Although it does limit your household to sharing one square of toilet roll per day.

4. Smutty advent calendar

Ann Summers Ann Summers

Each door conceals “chocolate bums, boobs and willies” according to the description. If that’s your thing.

5. Tools advent calendar

Amazon Amazon

No, not more chocolate willies. These are actual tools. Give this to someone, and then lay a massive guilt trip on them if they haven’t built you something deadly by Christmas Day.

6. Jelly Belly advent calendar

Jellybelly-uk Jellybelly-uk

A different flavour behind each window. Let’s be real: Jelly Bellys are the greatest, and are totally wasted on children.

7. Tequila advent calendar

Master of Malt Master of Malt

Because nothing says Christmas like slammers.

8. Ludicrously posh advent calendar

Harrods Harrods

Retailing exclusively at Harrods, this Wedgwood-manufactured advent house costs a tasty £9,600 (reduced from £12,000!). Each door contains a porcelain ornament. Basically, it’s just waiting for the dog to knock it over.