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11 things Irish women would like men in nightclubs to know

We asked women, and they told us.

Men in a nightclub Men in a nightclub IanMurphy IanMurphy

ABOVE: MEN, IN a nightclub. Here’s what they should know…

1. ‘Try not to order over a girl’s head at the bar when she’s first’

BruceTurner BruceTurner

The person in front of you may be short. But they’re still waiting to order, just like you.

2. ‘No grabbing from behind on the dancefloor, please’

Kaloozer Kaloozer

One victim: “Who ever told them that was OK?”

3. If someone is using a ‘pretend boyfriend’, it’s never going to work out

IanMurphy IanMurphy

Either it’s a real boyfriend, or they want you to go away. Anyone asking “Is that *really* your boyfriend?” is probably missing the point.

(And yes, that goes for pretend girlfriends too.)

4. It can be kind of annoying to be approached while trying to get drinks at the bar

Fitsum Belay / iLLIMETER Fitsum Belay / iLLIMETER / iLLIMETER

“It always feels weird to me, like cornering your prey.” Although also, “not the worst unless accompanied with a moronic opener like ‘SMILE!’”

5. ‘When a creepy guy tries to talk to you and it’s so noisy you have to lean in, so they decide to like, hug you’

markhillary markhillary

This is a bad thing.

6. The dancing, lads. The dancing.

Marc Love Marc Love

Our panel pointed these moves out specifically as illustrations of terrible man-dancing.

The Wire The Wire

Theatlantic Theatlantic

(Even though science says they are the most attractive to women. Go figure.)

7. The dancefloor circle is inviolable

Fitsum Belay / iLLIMETER Fitsum Belay / iLLIMETER / iLLIMETER

Especially if you want to jump in and do ‘comedy dancing’ in the middle of it. And definitely no barging into it and then just kind of standing there wondering what to do next.

8. Tricks are for kids

Matthew Hutchinson Matthew Hutchinson

To quote: “The ‘creepy guy in da club’ move I most hate is when they high-five you then grab your hand. I’ll thank you not to violate the high-five code, sir.”

9. ‘If a girl says ‘I have to get back to my friends,’ that pretty much means ‘And you should go away now.’

Kaloozer Kaloozer

FYI.

10. And: ‘If a girl gives you a cigarette because you’ve asked her for one, she might just be a kind and generous person’

bobcat rock bobcat rock

‘It might not mean that she wants you leering at her like a gom for the next 6-7 minutes.’

11. And finally, this important point

Flickr Flickr

“Having ‘NICE TITS!’ yelled at you isn’t anywhere near as flattering as you might think.”

Thanks to our panel and also everyone who contributed on Twitter!

More: 10 things Irish men would like Irish women to know>

More: 12 things Irish women would like Irish men to know>

Author
Michael Freeman
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