ABOVE: MEN, IN a nightclub. Here’s what they should know…
1. ‘Try not to order over a girl’s head at the bar when she’s first’
The person in front of you may be short. But they’re still waiting to order, just like you.
2. ‘No grabbing from behind on the dancefloor, please’
One victim: “Who ever told them that was OK?”
3. If someone is using a ‘pretend boyfriend’, it’s never going to work out
Either it’s a real boyfriend, or they want you to go away. Anyone asking “Is that *really* your boyfriend?” is probably missing the point.
(And yes, that goes for pretend girlfriends too.)
4. It can be kind of annoying to be approached while trying to get drinks at the bar
“It always feels weird to me, like cornering your prey.” Although also, “not the worst unless accompanied with a moronic opener like ‘SMILE!’”
5. ‘When a creepy guy tries to talk to you and it’s so noisy you have to lean in, so they decide to like, hug you’
This is a bad thing.
6. The dancing, lads. The dancing.
Our panel pointed these moves out specifically as illustrations of terrible man-dancing.
(Even though science says they are the most attractive to women. Go figure.)
7. The dancefloor circle is inviolable
Especially if you want to jump in and do ‘comedy dancing’ in the middle of it. And definitely no barging into it and then just kind of standing there wondering what to do next.
8. Tricks are for kids
To quote: “The ‘creepy guy in da club’ move I most hate is when they high-five you then grab your hand. I’ll thank you not to violate the high-five code, sir.”
9. ‘If a girl says ‘I have to get back to my friends,’ that pretty much means ‘And you should go away now.’
FYI.
10. And: ‘If a girl gives you a cigarette because you’ve asked her for one, she might just be a kind and generous person’
‘It might not mean that she wants you leering at her like a gom for the next 6-7 minutes.’
11. And finally, this important point
“Having ‘NICE TITS!’ yelled at you isn’t anywhere near as flattering as you might think.”
Thanks to our panel and also everyone who contributed on Twitter!
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