‘TIS THE SEASON to be jolly. And ’tis also the season to keep going to work while everyone else is being jolly.
Here are the people in your office who will drive you up the wall.
1. Ms Smug Shopping
May also pretend to be shocked when you admit that you haven’t even started looking for presents yet, and furthermore no you haven’t planned a menu for Stephen’s Day.
2. Mr I Hate Christmas
Take a vocal delight in being grumpy about all festivities, and joining in reluctantly or not at all. May also be heard explaining how ‘it’s all organised by retailers anyway’, and remembering the time he told all the other six-year-olds the truth about Santa.
3. Sergeant Kris Kindle
This person enrols everybody forcibly in all activities and complains if insufficient ‘festive spirit’ is demonstrated. She will be genuinely hurt if you suggest that not everyone wants to play Office Santagram.
4. Mr Social Butterfly
Spends long periods on the phone arranging his complicated social calendar. Sure it has to be done because ‘the lads are only back once a year’ and ‘the banter will be 90′.
Has no ‘inside voice’.
5. Ms All Christmas All The Time
Christmas jumper in the office? Check. Tinsel round the monitor? Check. Turkey sandwich at lunchtime? Check.
Just imagine the brutal comedown in this person’s house come December 28th.
6. Ms Office Party Obsessive
Will be heard for the entire month of December loudly hashing out minute details of the office Christmas party, to the exclusion of all else. Requires regular huddles with her pals in the kitchen for key party-related decisions.
7. And Mr Hungover
Spends the entire month in a daze, producing no work whatsoever. Answers all queries by clutching his head and whispering ‘I’m fecking dying’, before asking you to give him a dig out on that report he has to do.
Will then mention how he has to ‘do it all again’ tonight.
Who have we missed? Vent your spleen in the comments. Go on, we’re here for you. You can share.
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