REMEMBER THE DAYS before pulled pork? Before matcha? Before…paninis? It’s hard to believe we ever subsisted on a simple diet of mashed spuds and chicken goujons.
Anyone can be a ‘foodie’ (shudder) nowadays, fair enough. But the following increasingly ubiquitous food trends have just GOT to be stopped.
Pulled pork
We admit: It is delicious. So delicious. But once Centra started selling pulled pork baps it ceased being a special treat.
Why are you so obsessed with us, pulled pork?
Mason jars
The cutesy trend for serving cocktails, juices and porridge in mason jars started in the US, and was ferried over here by that bastion of twee, Pinterest.
Once these started appearing, it was game over. Forever.
You are legally allowed to slap anyone you see using one of these all over their damn face.
The Paleo diet
Paleo, the diet of the moment, was designed to emulate the food consumption of cavemen. Yeah, really.
Veggies, meat, no dairy, very few carbs. Another key part of the diet seems to be to take pictures of what you eat and hashtag them ‘#paleo’. This appears to be very important.
Dolled-up comfort foods
*M&S voice* These are not just scrambled eggs. These are scrambled eggs with smoked salmon on rye bread, garnished with fresh flat leaf parsley.
Why can’t a ham’n'cheese toastie just be a ham’n'cheese toastie?
Green juice
Juice cleanses are a main component of the new fitness and wellbeing trend, and green juice is the most revered of them all.
It’s healthy as hell, yeah, but it looks like toxic sludge. So who’s the real winner here, eh?
Bizarre food combinations
We were down when it was just the cronut. We won’t diss the cronut.
But ramen burgers, doughnut burgers and chocolate-fried chicken just seem downright nasty.
Get thee behind me, Satan.
Going ‘gluten-free’ for the laugh
Last year, very few of us even knew what gluten was. Now, we’re doing everything in our power to avoid it.
Coeliacs: we feel you. Everyone is hopping on your bandwagon, choosing to avoid gluten because it’s trendy now. You have to do it because your body won’t ALLOW you to consume gluten. Sad face.
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