WELCOME TO 2015, where people are flirting on Twitter right under your nose, ALL THE TIME. But how do you recognise when you, or someone you know, has a serious crush?
Here are seven terribly unsubtle things everyone does when they’ve got it bad for someone on Twitter.
1. Adding your crush on every social network
Not all at once, but gradually working up to the full portfolio: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, where applicable.
2. Embarking on an intensive stalk
When you finally gain access to all of their social media areas, you begin storing up every detail about them.
You catalogue selfies, nights out, and tidbits about friends and family, praying to god that you don’t accidentally like or favourite something while you’re at it.
3. Carefully plotting your likes
At first, it’s more about quality than quantity – retweeting a joke here, liking a selfie there. Really casual. So bloody casual.
4. Then giving up and thirstily favouriting everything
When the above approach doesn’t yield any results, you start clicking that little yellow star with wild abandon.
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YOU. ARE. SO. FUNNY. Notice me, please.
5. Always responding. Always, always responding
You could try and wait a few minutes before replying to their latest tweet to make it seem like you’re not hanging on their every word.
Or you could just own up to the fact that the frequency with which you appear in their mentions tells the real story.
6. Planning tweets you think they might enjoy
What? You thought it could all happen organically?
So sometimes a joke specifically geared towards your Twitter crush and their likes/dislikes might grace your timeline. No big deal. It’s all for the greater good.
7. Then finally sliding into their DMs
The big one. The one with which you firmly lay your cards on the table. The DM Slide means one thing, and one thing only: “HEY, I LIKE YOU.”
Is the DM slide the beginning of a beautiful relationship? In 2015, it could be. Godspeed, friend.
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