WE HOPE YOU’RE SITTING down. We have something upsetting to tell you.
There are some Irish people who – whisper it – don’t like potatoes.
Last night, commenter Lousie Keon shared how the tubers distressed her:
And it looks like she’s not the only one.
We don’t hate. We empathise. Here are 10 facts of life for Irish potato-haters.
1. You have no idea why people hold spuds so dearly
Soapy, ugly, dry. What’s to like? WHAT IS TO LIKE?
2. And you have to get around the fact that they’re served with EVERYTHING in Ireland
Some restaurants have potato bearers that come around ready to ladle so-called ‘new’ potatoes on your plate, regardless of whether you ordered them or not. Injustice!
3. Having dinner at other people’s houses is dead awkward
How do you tell them about the Spud Problem? How?
4. You’re well used to the blank stare that follows your admission
The cook:
You:
5. And the “SO WHAT DO YOU EAT?” question
Pasta, rice, the hearts of my enemies. Y’know. The usual.
6. Christmas Day is… interesting
Is it possible to have pasta with the turkey, please?
9. And it’s absolutely terrible when they sneak up on you
You SNEAKY curry! We weren’t prepared! *shakes fist*
8. Chips and Tayto are different, though
You’re allowed hate potatoes and love chips. You ARE.
9. The ‘Irish People <3 Potatoes’ stereotype really grinds you down
https://vine.co/v/OH5Fi7ABdXT
You couldn’t handle being Niall Horan and having One Direction fans shouting “POTATOES!” at you all the time. It’d send you over the edge.
10. And you’re 100% sure you will never, ever relent
There will never be one gorgeous roastie that’ll change your mind. Never. And everyone can just deal with it.
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