IF YOU’VE BEEN near a telly recently, chances are you’ve seen AIB’s new ad about Mick and Kate, a couple celebrating the last day of mortgage.
Let’s just say it’s an emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end.
Intense jealousy
Mick and Kate: “It’s the last day of our mortgage!”
Whole country, through gritted teeth: “Oh, we’re delighted for you.”
Bitterness and resentment
*downs a glass of wine in one go* You think you’re sooooo great for having your mortgage paid off, don’t you?
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Guilt
Why am I raining on this couple’s parade? They seem perfectly nice. She has a very pleasant American accent. He has a lush moustache. I shouldn’t take this out on them.
Lust
Oh God, do I fancy Mick from the AIB mortgage ad? He seems like he’d be kind and handy around the house. You’d be like, “Mick, the tap is leaking. Should we get a plumber?” and he’d be like, “No need to get a plumber. I’ll take a look meself.”
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Weepiness
Sometimes when you’re feeling particularly fragile or delicate, you can feel your eyes start to sting a little. Maybe it’s the baby photos. Maybe it’s the old home video footage. Maybe you’re just a big sap ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hope
Who knows? Maybe I, too, will one day pay off a mortgage and own my own house*. As George Michael once said, “You gotta have faith.”
* = Granny flat masquerading as a house.
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