ONCE YOU GET into skincare, it pretty much takes over your whole life. Here’s a few things you’ll know if you’re on this level.
1. The primal need to moisturise
How do people not moisturise? Does their skin not SCREAM for it? Do they know the sweet relief of applying that cool cream to their faces? Do they?
2. And the commitment to washing your face, even when you’re three sheets to the wind
“C’mon now, up to bed.”
“BUT I STILL HAVE FIVE STEPS LEFT OF MY SKINCARE ROUTINE.”
3. That no one will ever agree on how to say the word ‘micellar’
Miss-ellar? My-sellar? Just call it Fancy Face Water, FFS.
4. The guilt about skipping SPF
You: “You’re supposed to wear it every single day to protect your skin!”
Also you: “But I forgot! And it’s not even sunny!”
Also you: “Enjoy your premature wrinkles BITCH.”
5. And using face wipes
Because even the most skincare-obsessed of us can’t be arsed sometimes. *shrugs*
6. That travelling is a goddamn nightmare
First you have to pick what you absolutely need to bring. Then you have to start decanting. Then you have to hope it all fits in the tiny ziplock bag. The stress.
7. And the weirder the ingredients, the more you need to try it
Bee venom? Snail slime? Red wine? Gimme.
8. That sheet masks are not designed for human faces
So who are they designed for then? Our best guess is aliens.
9. The almost frightening urge to spend ridiculous money on the miracle product du jour
“Maybe Sunday Riley and her £85 face oil will solve all my problems,” you muse. No, she won’t. She won’t!
10. And the horror when you remember what you used to put on your face
Scrubs with BEADS. Toners with ALCOHOL. It’s a wonder we even have faces at all. *clutches eight-step skincare routine tightly*
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