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Dublin: 15 °C Saturday 23 November, 2024

It's time we faced the facts: Stew is bad and does not deserve to be our national dish

*chews beef for five hours*

Irish_stew WHAT IS THIS Wikimedia Wikimedia

LISTEN. AS A COUNTRY, we need to own up to the fact that our ‘national dish’ is no great shakes.

Of course we are talking about stew. You like it? Oh well, good for you. The rest of us have to deal with all of this.

There is no greater betrayal than asking what’s for dinner, only to discover it’s stew

You let yourself daydream about roasts, lasagne, maybe even getting a cheeky Chinese. But no. Stew. Mams are OBSESSED with making stew, even in summer.

The smell fills up the house like… well, like a bad smell

Even if you haven’t asked what’s for dinner, one sniff is enough for you to know that all your worst fears have come true.

You’d almost hold it against your poor mother…

6918062831_f41e1ce12d_b NO Flickr / Gloria Cabada-Leman Flickr / Gloria Cabada-Leman / Gloria Cabada-Leman

It’s not her fault. It’s just that stew in general is bad.

…But the stew is still produced again, despite your objections

Irish_stew_2007_(cropped) Wikimedia Wikimedia

Surely there must be a hotline where this sort of thing can be reported?

And you’re stuck chewing each bit of beef for like a half an hour

681px-IrishStew_Guinness Wikimedia Wikimedia

It’s been stewing in liquid for ages! It shouldn’t be this way!

Don’t even talk to us about the mushy spuds and veg

Tough beef and soggy veg. How is this desirable? We hope the person who invented stew is happy with themselves.

Finally, please look at the Wikipedia picture for ‘Irish stew’

Irish-stew Wikipedia Wikipedia

Why are we presenting this as delicious Irish cuisine? It looks like vom. We can do better, and we must.

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