AH, AUTUMN. FALLEN leaves and crackling fires, pumpkin spice lattes and – stop. Catch a hold of yourself.
The fact of the matter is that, much like the other seasons, autumn as it’s presented to us in film and television does not really exist in Ireland.
You’ll see messages and tips like these on TV and in magazines, but we’re advising you to ignore them. Reality is much, much different.
Expectation: You’ll be kicking up piles of beautifully-hued leaves on your morning walk to work.
Reality: You’ll be slipping in putrid brown mush.
Expectation: We’ll have that cold, crisp, yet sunny weather we love so much.
Reality: The rain comes down sideways instead of straight.
Gotta love that change in the seasons!
Expectation: Time to pull out my autumn/winter wardrobe again!
Reality: *wears tights/a thicker jumper with ‘summer wardrobe’*
Expectation: You’ll be going around all perfectly snug in your hat and scarf and autumnal layers.
Reality: You’ll be alternately sweating and then shivering. The scarf is too warm, but the wind is like RAZORS. How?!
Expectation: This is the year you pull that amazing Halloween costume out of the bag.
Reality: This is the year you do a mad dash through Penneys at 4pm on October 31st, looking for anything you can make into cat ears. Again.
Expectation: The neighbourhood will be so quiet now all the kids are gone back to school!
Reality: THE KIDS ARE ON YOUR BUS. ALL OF THEM. ABORT. ABORT.
Kids:
You:
Happy September, you guys!
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