LAST NIGHT AN Irish person won €93 million in the EuroMillions lottery.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow. That could have been you!
You could be at home celebrating today, planning a life filled with champagne and caviar!
It’s true, you could. However, after the initial buzz the reality of winning the lottery is not always rosy. In fact, we put it to you that you’re better off.
It’s a good thing you didn’t win the Euromillions, and here is the proof.
You’re still of no interest to conmen
Conmen love people who are minted. You’re not minted, so you’re grand!
You won’t blow it all and live a life of regret
Imagine winning the lottery and then messing it all up! Imagine! Could you live with yourself?
You probably can’t afford to ruin yourself with bad plastic surgery
So you’ll grow old gracefully, and people won’t discuss your ruination on the internet.
Tammie Arroyo/AFF/EMPICS Entertainment
You probably don’t have to worry about the Mafia coming knocking
Your carbon emissions will be significantly more responsible
All that travelling around the world from party to party would be really bad for the environment, you know.
Yes, it looks nice, but is it environmentally conscious? David Parry/PA Archive/Press Association Images
No one will ever call you ‘Lotto lout’
Really this reason should be sufficient.
You won’t have to deal with begging letters
Seriously. You’d feel like Santa, but in a really bad way.
Now a lottery win can’t destroy your marriage
You’ll have to do that yourself. (Bah dum, tish!)
You’re unlikely to wear an excessive amount of jewelry
That much gold is just not right on an Irish person.
Andrew Parsons/PA Archive/Press Association Images
There’s no chance of you blowing a fortune on drugs
A fortune? What fortune?
You haven’t died of the shock
It’s possible, you know.
YouTube/zuguidemovietrailers
So go forth and enjoy your normal life, safe in the knowledge that everything is just as it was. There’s a lot to be said for a routine, you know.
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