HAVING AN OLDER brother can be both a blessing and a curse. But mostly a curse when you’re little.
1. You never got in trouble, but only because your parents were too busy punishing him for things he did to you
2. You were always put in his hand-me-downs, no matter what your gender is
It’s not a shirt any more, it’s a dress.
3. A screw-up or embarrassing moment never went unforgotten or unslagged
Older brothers are almost always incapable of sympathy.
4. Nicknames are just a fancy word for ongoing insults
5. You constantly had your tastes shot-down, but he inevitably made yours better
So what if he was responsible for your teen goth phase? Think of all the bands you wouldn’t have heard without him.
6. He’d help you, but would always tell you how much he didn’t want to
7. Your house was a constant cloud of Lynx
Deal with it.
8. His toys murdered your toys on a daily basis
All of your dolls and action men looked like this:
9. All the big shop goodies were eaten hours after they were unpacked
Your mam had to start hiding them, which meant you missed out either way.
10. The rare time you were allowed play his consoles, you always had to be player 2
Can I just be Mario for ONCE? No, Luigi.
11. When his friends were over, you were cast aside
And you BETTER not attempt to join them.
12. You constantly heard about his reaction the day you were born
He hated you, FYI.
13. You had to hear stories of how you were adopted every time your parents back was turned
14. And that he is basically the king, as he came first
15. It’s his world, you’re just living in it, and using his stuff
But you will have your moment
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