BUDGET 2014 looms tomorrow, and with the various increases and cuts expected, we’ve been thinking:

What if the the worst things we have to endure were taxed instead?

If DailyEdge.ie ruled the world, these would be the things coming under fire.

We can but dream, dear friends.

Queue skipping

Every time you skip a queue, a levy is charged on whatever it is you’re queuing for. THAT’LL LEARN YA.

We’ve also come up with an alternative solution. For each person you skip, a euro is enforced. Get back, get back to where you once belonged.

Source: Chime.In

Hashtags

Want to use 15 hashtags in your next Instagram snap? It’ll cost you.

Source: Agent X

Attention-seeking Facebook status updates

Tut tut. That’ll cost you. For every concerned question the status gets that you ignore, you’ll be taxed. TAXED!

Source: JuicyPips

Spit

If people were charged for the spit leaving their mouth, perhaps they’d be a bit more careful when they spray it instead of saying it.

Source: The China Scholar

Time spent at an ATM

Every minute you fumble and blether your way around that ATM machine will cost you. It’s a simple transaction! Get a bleedin’ wiggle on!

Source: Shutterstock

Leaving a drop of milk

Every time you leave a drop of milk back into the fridge, there will be a penalty fine. A HIGH one.

Source: The Inspiration Room

Annoying phrases

Henceforth there should be a tax on the use of the word “dude”. And “banter” while we’re at it. Oh, and “going forward”. And, and, and… Any other suggestions for taxable phrases/words?

journal-fiona journal-fiona

Walking slow

Everyone walking at less than the accepted legal speed, extenuating circumstances aside, will be taxed with the full force of the law.

Wikimedia Commons Wikimedia Commons

This tortoise is about to get taxed up the wazoo.

Being put on hold

Companies will be taxed per minute for putting you on hold. Companies using jingly Dvorak covers as their hold music will be taxed double.

Source: Lolimage

TAXED!

What would you tax if you could? 

Open thread: As we await Budget 2014, what makes you happy? 

Last night’s Love/Hate: Fran’s tooth, the Oh Jaysus Handle, and rats>