IN THIS DAY and age, you are either very clearly:

A dog person …

… Or a cat person.

It’s a stance that often ends relationships and decides friendships. Undoubtedly, however, the lesser-shouted about side deserves attention.

Cat people, we salute you.

1. Everything is a scratching/climbing post

The couch? Yep. Your bed? Uh-huh. Your brand new pair of jeans that you’re currently wearing? You bet.

2. You can’t afford to take your eyes off them

One minute they’re there, and the next …

3. ‘Collar rage’ is real

Especially when they’re young. Internally, they are screaming “get this thing off me!”

They will always find a way to wriggle out. Always. Damn cats and their retractable necks …

4. They have no concept of time when it comes to other people

The general rule of thumb is that cats are allowed to sleep wherever and whenever.

You, however? You need to be awake at 6am, because they demand attention then and there. It’s extremely necessary.

5. They are extremely impatient creatures

CAN YOU LET ME EMPTY ALL THE FOOD OUT OF THE PACKET BEFORE YOU START LUNGING FOR THE BOWL PLEASE?!

6. They always look sad, even when they’re not

7. How do they find a way to climb in to everything?

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8. Convincing yourself you’re being robbed when really it’s just your cat knocking around the gaff

“Did you hear tha- Never mind.”

9. Convincing yourself you can smell cat piss somewhere in the house

And panicking when you are unable to identify the source.

10. Wanting your cat to leave you alone…

Why is it that they want attention at the most inconvenient time?

11. … And then taking their complete indifference to you as a personal insult.

WE NEED TO BE LOVED TOO.

12. The frustration when your cat starts acting like an asshole in front of guests …

“She’s NEVER usually like this, I swear, I think she’s just nervous-”

13. … Before accepting that your cat is just an asshole, full stop

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