Sunday 22 December, 2024

Celebrity Come Dine With Me recap: Big men, small tables, more willies

And Celia’s face takes us on an incredible journey. Here’s everything we learned

IT’S NIGHT THREE of Celebrity Come Dine With Me. We’re halfway through the week. Halfway through this series. Half way to a time when I can once more leave the house in the evenings.

When others talk of this time, we’ll say “You don’t know, man. You weren’t there.”

Anyway, last night took us to the streamlined city-centre abode of everyone’s favourite demure, glamorous former Miss World Rosanna Davison:

There she is, cooking up a storm. Here’s how it went down:

1. Rosanna turning her place into Girlyland

She’s got tiaras EVERYWHERE.

Hair clip/table decoration (that’s the sort of thinking that gets you to Miss World level)

Pillow. Seriously, who owns this kind of stuff?

It’s like a theme park for princesses. I mean, where does Wes stay when he comes over? It’s just humiliating.

2. Air Kissing 101

OK, this is how the pros do it. See the distance between the hips? There is no WAY those pelvic areas are going anywhere NEAR each other.

This is the kind of stuff you have to master when you’re a celebrity.

3. Brian arrives, dishevelled

Seriously, he turns up with his bow tie ALREADY UNDONE. Has he been partying for the last 48 hours with Sean Penn and Roberto Benigni, or are we just on a next-level fashion tip here?

Either way, we’ve got a new respect for Brian.