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Dublin: 12 °C Tuesday 5 November, 2024

10 celebrity splits I'm still not completely over

Let me explain.

CHRIS EVANS AND Jenny Slate ever so selfishly broke up and shook our belief system to its very core.

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Does love exist? Is it a myth? If any of these couples get back together, we’ll consider it.

1. Britney and Justin

Will we ever know what happened between this pair? Despite all the rumours, the Kevin Federlines, and the bad double-denim rig outs, these two seem as if they were meant for each other.

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Only in the noughties could you have the pet names Stinky and Pinky and not be labelled depraved.

But is Justin still into his ex? Is Britney still into Justin? Is there a chance for these two to give us all hope?

Well, the internet seems to think Justin is still triggered upon hearing the word Pinky (2:14).

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Any hope?: No. Jessica Biel is a damn catch.

2. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams

OK so, if these pair get back together, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling wouldn’t be a thing. Some may argue this is equally as tragic, but these obviously haven’t seen their kiss at the MTV Movie Awards back in 2005.

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Daaamn.

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I mean, DAAAAMN.

Ryan and Rach still loved each other when they were going through bad fashion choices such as a pink dye, and whatever is going on with Ryan’s haircut here.

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Unfortunately, life is not actually like The Notebook and the pair rudely split up.

Any hope?: No, sadly. Ryan is madly in love with Eva Mendes, like the dedicated, charming, devastatingly handsome and talented family-man he is.

3. Gerald Keane and Lisa Murphy

I somehow know little about this pair, but everything all at once. Why are they together? What do they do? Why are they in the Sindo every week? Does Louis Walsh ever come over for dinner?

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All I know is, I am mentally unable to let this one go because I can’t stop hearing about it. Get back together guys. Take a lil holiday.

Any hope?: Yes.

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Oh wait.

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4. Heidi Klum and Seal

The day Heidi and Seal announced they had split, I just knew Kiss from a Rose would never again bring me the joy it once had.

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Look at them. Beautiful. Made for each other. Someone think of the beautiful babies.

You can just tell these two didn’t leave the bedroom for like the entire first year of their relationship

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Any hope?: Yeah, why not? Seal probably misses their epic Halloween costumes.

5. Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson

Oh Summer and Seth. How you ruined our innocence. Until you guys split up, it was all Abercrombie and Deathcab for Cutie. Now, it’s just the harsh reality that true fairytale love does not exist.

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OK, so Rachel is now with Hayden Christensen, and Adam is with Leighton Meester, so we can kinda see where they’re coming from.

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Any hope?: Sadly, probably not. Like any old teenage romance, we must leave it in the bushes behind the school where it belongs.

6. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez

Because, to be fair, we don’t want anyone else getting dragged into the whole Gigli or Jenny from the Block video thing.

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They were Bennifer before joint couple names were cool. Which was never. They were never cool.

The image of him pawing JLo’s arse like it was the last time he’d ever see it on board that yacht has unfortunately stuck with us long after their love’s demise.

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Any hope?: There were rumours of a reconciliation back when Ben split from his wife, Jennifer Garner. We may not have seen the last of these crazy kids yet.

7. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey

Oh, these two. We thought it would be Nick, Jessica, and their chickens of the sea forever.

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I only really miss this pair because I miss watching Newlyweds on MTV instead of studying for my Junior Cert, but you have to admit, they were a match made in pop heaven.

They both managed to make the smallest, most simple tasks seem mountainous.

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Nick is now married to Vanessa Minnillo, and Jessica has about two dozen blonde mini-mes with an NFL player.

Any hope?: I’m gonna put it out there and say yes. Stranger things have happened, like Ashlee Simpson getting her own show.

8. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett

What is there to say about the dream team of Amy and Will that hasn’t already been said?

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They’re perfect on paper, but maybe there was TOO much banter in the relationship? Like, where they just laughing all the time and getting nothing done? The mind boggles.

Any hope?: I’m gonna put it out there and say yes. But lets face it. Amy deserves better.

9. Michael Sheen and Kate Beckinsale

Em, I have one request. Can Kate and Michael sit down and draft us a long explanation as to why they aren’t currently together?

I’m not talking about just one or two brief bullet points, I really want them to think it through.

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The fact that they remain such great friends and have a lovely daughter together is surely a strong enough force to manifest a love connection again?

Look at them here celebrating their daughter Lily getting a place in college:

Jesus. Some married couples don’t love each other this much.

Any chance?: Well, Kate just split from her husband Len Wiseman, but Michael is doing a strong line with comedian Sarah Silverman. If it was going to happen, it would’ve happened by now.

10. Aidan Turner and Sarah Greene

Didn’t we almost have it all? A hot Irish couple, making it big in London.

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That’s not too much to ask for? Is it, Aidan Turner and Sarah Greene?

These two met at the Gaiety School of Acting and dated for five years. They split early last year when Poldark went massive, like some badly scripted rom-com that illustrates how fame ruins lives.

Well, it does ruin lives. Ours. Thanks a lot you successful young high-fliers.

Any hope?: Yeah, why not. The guy in the rom com usually realises he made a mistake in the end, eh?

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Nicola Byrne
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