CHARLIE SHEEN TURNS 48 today.
The eccentric actor is probably best known for his famous family and lead role in sitcom Two and a Half Men–until last year when he was kicked off for calling the show’s creator Chuck Lorre a ‘charlatan’, among other slurs.
His erratic behaviour has kept him in headlines, spouting off about #winning, tiger blood and his drug use.
Here are just a few things which Sheen has since claimed to be.
1. Not bipolar, but bi-winning
I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there, now what?
2. An F-8 fighter jet
I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.
3. A high priest Vatican assassin warlock
We work for the pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people.
4. A rock star from Mars
I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not bitchin’ and a total … rock star from Mars.
5. A drug
I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
6. An alien
If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from this terrestrial realm.
7. Insane
Here’s the good news. If I realize that I’m insane, then I’m okay with it. I’m not dangerous insane.
8. The owner of a fire breathing fist
I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.
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