1. Any and all Christmas songs
We’re in that no man’s land where it’s still technically Christmas but it’s all winding down. No more “SIMPLY HAVING”. No more “Chestnuuuuts roooasting…” No more.
2. “Fancy another Quality Street?”
Please, no. My poor gut. (Ah yeah, go on actually, throw us over another one to go with this cup of tea, will ya?)
3. “There’s still some turkey left”
Turkey sandwich, turkey curry, turkey everything. Mam, no. We can’t take it.
4. Your siblings scrapping
After a few days at home, it’s inevitable that everyone slips back into their solid roles, built down through the years, in the family hierarchy. This involves heated arguments about the remote control, and screaming matches over who left the immersion on. Tense.
5. “You’re not going out, are you?”
Christmas is a time to be spent with the family. Woe betide the family member that first attempts to make a break for it into town for a drink with friends. WOE BETIDE THEM.
6. “Wait, you’re not still in bed, are you?”
Sssh. Just a little longer.
7. “So when are you back to work?”
WE DON’T USE THE “W” WORD AT CHRISTMAS. I’ll thank you to take that hideous language elsewhere.
8. “What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?”
WHERE are the spacious, romance-infused parties proliferated with funny hats that Hollywood promised us for New Year’s Eve? Mostly our New Year’s Eves are spent discussing how it’s “always a let down” and then paying about €500 for a taxi.
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