1. Grim Irish skies

It’s set in Sligo, where the clouds lie approximately six inches from the ground.

2. And the roiling waters of the Garavogue

Faintly apocalyptic.

3. This lady

Her name is Trish. She’s tonight’s host.

4. And her leather boots

That she likes to wear.

5. Like, thigh-high leather boots

Yow.

6. And not that much else

Respect.

7. Extravagant headgear

Where are they, a wedding? That lady is STYLIN’.

8. Intergenerational smooching

See ‘wedding’ comment above. Shifting people of a different generation is fine as long as you’re wearing flowers round your neck.

9. Crude sexual innuendoes involving whipped cream

We’re looking at you, narrator.

10. People suckin’ drinks as if their life depended on it

I mean, seriously. You’d have to.

11. Show-off glassware

Are they impressed? Are they my arse.

12. Bloody-faced men in pimp costumes

We have honestly no idea what is happening here.

13. Awkward, faintly passive-aggressive camaraderie

Apparently the others didn’t get the ‘wedding hat’ memo.

14. Which veils bitter, bitter competition

It’s brutal out there.

15. Did we mention the leather boots?

Yeeeeeow!

All images TV3

Come Dine With Me Sligo starts at 9pm tonight on TV3.

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