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WE ALL KNOW how to dish it out, and a lot of us can take it.
In the words of the Gardai:
But sometimes–as discussed over on Reddit–the advice given is so mundane, vague or just plain wrong, that you can’t help but ignore it. Here are a few of the worst offenders.
1. Dealing with a nosebleed
Shutterstock
What you should do instead:
Sit up, lean it forward and pinch the bridge until it stops. If there’s too much blood in stomach it’ll make you sick–and that’s bound to do nothing for your gushing nose.
If you can’t always get what you want, respect a no, especially if the question is; ‘Should I do this?’ at 3am of a post-Ray’s Sunday morning.
3. Cleaning wounds
Shutterstock
What you should do instead:
The same goes for iodine and rubbing alcohol--they can cause tissue necrosis and are no more effective than soap and water. So the stinging doesn't mean it's getting better. The only thing that'll save you now is high pressure irrigation with sterile or saline water.
4. Ignore the haters
What you should do instead:
Whether it's bullies or bees, your mammy always tells you to 'ignore them' or 'they're more afraid of you than you are of them'. You imagine it'll be all water off a duck's back.
Sometimes it's essential to stick up for yourself and be assertive. What would Cady Heron be doing if she hadn't stood up for herself? She'd be wearing jeans on Friday, that's what.
Modernised as 'YOLO!' this advice is commonly given out to encourage people to forget their worries and just enjoy the moment as hey, it could be your LAST.
What you should do instead:
Plan ahead a bit... maybe it'll avoid those situations that cause you to worry. Everything else is out of your control. On that note...
6. Whatever will be, will be
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What you should do instead:
Get up and do something. Do you think Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness' sat around waiting for a fortune to come his way? No, he didn't. Look at him now.
Eat the carrot instead of wearing it. Get glasses if you need them. Avoid staring at your computer screen too long if you don't. Watch the ho ho ho, Green Giant ad again.
Some people should probably keep their opinions to themselves. See: Katie Hopkins. Or, you could air these controversial opinions all over television for a suitable fee.
Not a bad mantra to keep in mind, but willing away 10 years of your life in the hope of becoming the next Spielberg with a camera phone probably isn't going to benefit anybody. Maybe settle for Scorsese, he got the Oscar eventually.
11. Honesty is integrity
What you should do instead:
When have you ever been honest with your girlfriend when she asks how many pints you had last night, or how that One Direction CD got into your car? NEVER. And aren't we all the better for it?
The advice really should be, 'if the customer has a problem, there is a problem.' Yes, listen to and acknowledge the complaint, but surely you, the experienced staff member, are slightly more in-the-know than your customer.
What happens if the customer says they're always wrong? A paradox, that's what.
What crappy advice do you always get that drives you crazy?
Friday 15 November, 2024
Friday 15 November, 2024
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Common advice we all give... and what you should ACTUALLY do
WE ALL KNOW how to dish it out, and a lot of us can take it.
In the words of the Gardai:
But sometimes–as discussed over on Reddit–the advice given is so mundane, vague or just plain wrong, that you can’t help but ignore it. Here are a few of the worst offenders.
1. Dealing with a nosebleed
Shutterstock
What you should do instead:
Sit up, lean it forward and pinch the bridge until it stops. If there’s too much blood in stomach it’ll make you sick–and that’s bound to do nothing for your gushing nose.
2. Just say no!
Flickr/swanksalot
What you should do instead:
If you can’t always get what you want, respect a no, especially if the question is; ‘Should I do this?’ at 3am of a post-Ray’s Sunday morning.
3. Cleaning wounds
Shutterstock
What you should do instead:
The same goes for iodine and rubbing alcohol--they can cause tissue necrosis and are no more effective than soap and water. So the stinging doesn't mean it's getting better. The only thing that'll save you now is high pressure irrigation with sterile or saline water.
4. Ignore the haters
What you should do instead:
Whether it's bullies or bees, your mammy always tells you to 'ignore them' or 'they're more afraid of you than you are of them'. You imagine it'll be all water off a duck's back.
Sometimes it's essential to stick up for yourself and be assertive. What would Cady Heron be doing if she hadn't stood up for herself? She'd be wearing jeans on Friday, that's what.
5. Live to extremes
Flickr/wales_gibbons
Modernised as 'YOLO!' this advice is commonly given out to encourage people to forget their worries and just enjoy the moment as hey, it could be your LAST.
What you should do instead:
Plan ahead a bit... maybe it'll avoid those situations that cause you to worry. Everything else is out of your control. On that note...
6. Whatever will be, will be
What you should do instead:
Get up and do something. Do you think Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness' sat around waiting for a fortune to come his way? No, he didn't. Look at him now.
7. Jump before you're pushed
Flickr/dsifry
Except when you heard WRONG.
What you should do instead:
Talk it out... or wait until they dump you and plot a plan to destroy their lives.
8. Carrots are good for your sight
Flickr/theimpulsivebuy
What you should do instead:
Eat the carrot instead of wearing it. Get glasses if you need them. Avoid staring at your computer screen too long if you don't. Watch the ho ho ho, Green Giant ad again.
9. PREACH!
Flickr/newtown_grafitti
What you should do instead:
Some people should probably keep their opinions to themselves. See: Katie Hopkins. Or, you could air these controversial opinions all over television for a suitable fee.
10. The world is your oyster
Flickr/ajschwegler
What you should do instead:
Not a bad mantra to keep in mind, but willing away 10 years of your life in the hope of becoming the next Spielberg with a camera phone probably isn't going to benefit anybody. Maybe settle for Scorsese, he got the Oscar eventually.
11. Honesty is integrity
What you should do instead:
When have you ever been honest with your girlfriend when she asks how many pints you had last night, or how that One Direction CD got into your car? NEVER. And aren't we all the better for it?
12. Customers can do no wrong
Flickr/nateOne
But what about the ones that are WRONG?
What you should do instead:
The advice really should be, 'if the customer has a problem, there is a problem.' Yes, listen to and acknowledge the complaint, but surely you, the experienced staff member, are slightly more in-the-know than your customer.
What happens if the customer says they're always wrong? A paradox, that's what.
What crappy advice do you always get that drives you crazy?
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