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12 food crimes that should be punishable by law
1. Using the same knife for both the butter and mayonnaise
Repeat after me: different knives for different condiments, different knives for different condiments.
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2. Putting pineapple on pizza
A disgrace, a travesty and a crime against pizza.
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3. Making hot chocolate with water instead of milk
Do you hate nice things? Are you deliberately trying to deny yourself pleasure? No? Then why in God’s name are you making hot chocolate with water?
4. *Ruining* guacamole with a big dollop of mayonnaise
ARE YOU TRYING TO UPSET ME?
5. Pouring the milk in first when making a cup of tea
It goes against everything we stand for as a nation, tbh.
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6. Eating a Kit-Kat without breaking it
Sociopathic behaviour, if you ask us.
Ghost / Twitter Ghost / Twitter / Twitter
7. Opening your crisp packet UPSIDE DOWN
You don’t need people who open their crisp packets upside down in your life.
Emma Furniss / Twitter Emma Furniss / Twitter / Twitter
8. Double dipping your crisps in a dip being shared by others
Double dipping: to put a crisp into a dip — say, guacamole, take a bit and then put it back in.
THE GERMS.
FlossyKaz / Twitter FlossyKaz / Twitter / Twitter
9. Eating Supermacs on a train
While we understand the impulse to eat Supermacs on the train, it is highly disrespectful to your fellow passengers. See also: eating anything egg-based or a packet of cheese & onion crisps on a bus.
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10. Horsing into a kiwi with the skin still on
Don’t tell me that it provides “roughage” or whatever. That doesn’t make it any less distressing.
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11. Not serving beans in a ramekin
Cry notions all you want. This is the only acceptable way to serve beans. Leave the bean juice off the plate.
12. Making a scene out of eating your Kinder Bueno
If you must do it, do it in private.
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crimes against food Eating