IF YOUR BIRTHDAY is in December, you pretty much lost the birthday lottery.

Sorry. Here’s why.

1. Everybody is focused on one day of birth, and it ain’t yours

It’s Jesus.

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2. Everyone is FAR too busy to put some proper attention into your birthday

If they’re not panicking about last minute Christmas presents, they’re stressed over getting things to wear to the thousands of holiday events that aren’t your birthday party.

Cheers.

3. You’ve never opened a gift that wasn’t wrapped in Christmas paper

Dwell on that one for a moment.

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4. You’ve never celebrated a birthday in an environment that ISN’T decorated for the holidays

Unless you’re the lucky few who are born the first week of the month… you MIGHT just find a pub that isn’t decorated yet.

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5. Two presents? NAH

Your mates and family double up on a two-in-one, Christmas and birthday gift. Yet you, of course, have to splash out again in May.

6. Everyone is broke

Everyone has been spending money on Christmas parties or presents and they are going out of their way now to avoid spending any of it with you.

JUSTICE, NOT.

7. The chances you’ll have exams or be too stressed out to party is very very likely

8. The realisation that you have another 11 months to go without any craic

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9. You’re probably reminded every year that your mam spent Christmas in hospital ALL THOSE YEARS AGO

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10. Good luck getting a reservation for a nice party

Everywhere will be booked up and or packed. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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