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18 old Desperate Housewives characters that will make you sick with nostalgia

MIKE DELFINO!

WE, AS A nation, were weirdly obsessed with Desperate Housewives back in the ’00s.

You might think you remember every twist and turn of Wisteria Lane – but there are some classic characters that might have slipped your mind and will give you that tingle of 2004 nonsense telly drama you’ve been missing. Strap yourselves in:

1. Mike Delfino

mike-delfino Wordpress Wordpress

Your friendly neighbourhood plumber.

2. Katherine Mayfair

Katherine-Mayfair-Dana-Delany ABC ABC

Remember when she returned to Wisteria Lane and you were just waiting for her dark secret to come out and yup, she buried her son in the woods.

Standard.

3. Edie Britt

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Stay away from Karl!

4. Andrew Van de Kamp

Andrew van de Kamp PhotoBucket PhotoBucket

5. Martha Huber

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The shnake.

Which leads us directly to:

6. Paul Young

PaulYoungDH Looking suitably menacing there. Good man. Wikimedia Wikimedia

7. John Rowland

johnrowland ABC ABC

Enter, the world’s least realistic 17-year-old.

8. Julie Mayer

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Doling out love advice to her mam Teri Hatcher with the wisdom of a 62-year-old agony aunt.

9. Karl Mayer

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“I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him” – your mam, every time Karl came on screen.

10. Carlos Solis

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11. Danielle Van de Kamp

vande ABC ABC

12. Tom Scavo

Tom_Scavo Wikimedia Wikimedia

Just the secret love child for Tom. He was one of the sounder ones.

13. Rex Van de Kamp

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Injecting the necessary titillation into the first season.

Until he was cruelly taken down by the one and only:

14. George Williams

george ABC ABC

Wisteria Lane Evil Genius #248.

15. Orson Hodge

orson Wikia Wikia

Who could forgot that time he repeatedly ran over Mike in his car? Serious craic.

16. Zach Young

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It’s all coming back to you now.

17. Angie Bolen

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Just your run of the mill fugitive moving on to the estate.

18. Matthew Applewhite

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Keeping Caleb locked in that basement was a portent of things to come.

Oh, Desperate Housewives – how did you get away with it?

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Author
David Elkin
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