WORKING SHIFTS IS a pain in the hole.
You barely speak the same language as everyone else.
1. Morning
Morning is whatever time you get up at. Morning could be 6pm if your shift starts at seven. Morning could be pitch black, and breakfast could be a curry. The joys.
2. Mates
Your mates aren’t your close friends, no no. They’re the people who happen to have time off when you have time off.
3. Lunch
No no, it’s not 1pm. Lunch is when you finally get a chance to eat something. Maybe around five.
4. Night
It doesn’t have to be dark, it’s just when you go to sleep.
You’ve often fallen asleep to the sound of people drilling in the street, or little kids playing on the green.
5. Office hours
LOL. Hey, at least you never have to queue in the bank.
6. Weekend
Not a Saturday and Sunday of freedom, but a time to annoy your friends by telling them you can’t make their birthday parties.
The only party is in the office.
7. Rush hour
Something you either sleep through, or observe from a window with six hours to go.
8. After work drinks
Ehhh, the pubs are closed mate. Or else it’s far too early to consider booze.
9. Cover
The bane of your life, not just something that goes over something else. Finding it, providing it, crying about it at night. Cover is the worst.
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10. Roster
The chains to which your whole life and routine is tied.
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11. Bank Holiday
Well, you hope the banks have a nice holiday because you certainly won’t be getting one.
12. Healthy diet
To you, this is whatever you eat that hasn’t come from the vending machine.
13. Winter
Constant state of darkness.
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