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“WILL YOU HAVE some beans?”

“Nah, I’m alright thanks.”

“Really?”

As a nation, Ireland loves beans – but there are a small minority of people who just can’t stand them. Their lives look like this:

1. Your breakfast options are seriously limited when you’re not at home, because beans take up half the plate

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Suddenly the plate looks a lot emptier without the ultimate breakfast filler that is beans.

2. And you’ll never understand how people are OK with the bean juice just running all over the plate – ruining the rest of the fry

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You watch other people’s plates as the beans slowly creep across, infiltrating the bacon and sausage.

3. People genuinely think that the beans are an essential part of a proper breakfast – and that you’re missing out in life

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^missing out on that.

4. Everyone is all like “but how can you enjoy other tomato-based deliciousness and not like beans?”

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5. To which you respond that other tomato-based meals don’t have tiny little beans floating in them. Also, the sauce is thick and not bean juice

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6. When you look at a plate of beans, all you can see is the tomato juice lake forming

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7. You’re actually fine with beans by themselves in, say, a burrito

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8. But it’s the combination of beans and juice that gets you – nothing dominates an otherwise dry dinner like the scourge of beans

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9. You never got on board with the whole ‘student eating beans on toast’ stereotype

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10. Because toast is so much nicer when you don’t have bean juice running off it

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11. And finally… you’re willing to try other foods you don’t really like – but not beans

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There’s just something about them: the texture, the aesthetics, the colour.

Beans are the worst.

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