“WILL YOU HAVE an egg?”
“No, I’m grand. I don’t like eggs.”
“WHAT?”
When you’re having breakfast in someone else’s gaff and you don’t like eggs, the above conversation will always happen.
Irish people love eggs, but there are a small minority who really, really don’t. Their lives look like this:
1. Your breakfast options when ordering off a menu somewhere are seriously limited
2. Because you can’t order a full breakfast anywhere as half of it will be f**king eggs
Such a waste of a breakfast. So you choose something else.
3. Any time you are offered eggs by somebody’s mam, you have to say no which creates an awkward silence in Irish households
4. The reason given - that you intensely dislike eggs – does not help matters at all
5. You’re aware that you are looked upon with suspicion by all other egg-loving people around the world
Of which there are many.
6. You just don’t understand how people can eat eggs when they are this texture
^look at that.
7. You’ve never had to learn the difference between all the different types of eggs and how they’re cooked
So you kind of feel like less of an adult.
8. You never understood why something that smells eggy is universally considered to be horrific but the same people who say that willingly consume eggs on a regular basis
“But… the smell?”
9. You look at people eating Scotch eggs and question their sanity
“You’re just going to… bite right into that… thing?”
10. Eggs are just messy and are not suitable for real life
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11. You see people ruining perfectly good meals with eggs all the time
You’ll never understand the attraction.
Living an egg-free life is not easy, but somehow you struggle through. Egg haters gonna hate.
