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Dublin: 11 °C Saturday 21 December, 2024

If Dublin tourism ads were brutally honest...

Nothing will prepare you for the seagulls.

1. Come see one of Dublin’s oldest and largest attractions: The Great Luas Works

city breaks Haydn West / PA Archive/PA Images Haydn West / PA Archive/PA Images / PA Archive/PA Images

Enjoy the fusion of urban hustle and bustle combined with the pastoral experience of being herded around jammed between railings like cattle, right here in Dublin City Centre.

PastedImage-63277 Emma Flynn / Twitter Emma Flynn / Twitter / Twitter

2. Get a glimpse at our stunningly terrifying wildlife

INTIMIDATING WILDLIFE Niall Carson / PA Archive/PA Images Niall Carson / PA Archive/PA Images / PA Archive/PA Images

In most European cities you will encounter many warnings to be on the lookout for pickpockets. This isn’t an issue in Dublin. Our huge seagulls will probably rob you. I’ve seen one take a full donut clean out of a woman’s  hand on Grafton Street.

This is not a joke, TDs have called for the culling of seagulls  because they genuinely believe that they are endangering society.

They have stolen phones and killed lambs. They attack swimmers. Please keep your wits about you when visiting the city centre. They seem to have descended from pterodactyls.

3. Witness the expert craftsmanship that has gone into Supermacs for almost 40 years

local cuisineIRELAND Paul Ford / Flickr Paul Ford / Flickr / Flickr

Don’t let pubs trick you into paying €18 for a stew or a scabby bit of bacon and cabbage. They are not Irish culture, they are just dinners that people’s dads wolf down in their farty armchairs while they’re watching the six one news.

While most Dubliners don’t find it particularly appealing, it is a staple in the diet of people from the other 31 counties.

Sometimes you forget your well assimilated friend from Meath isn’t actually from Dublin. That’s until you hear them pining for Supermacs at the end of a night out and remember the truth.

4. Witness a culture like no other

culture Trocaire / Flickr Trocaire / Flickr / Flickr

This doesn’t happen every day but you are bound to encounter something just as unusual on an average day.

5. Check out everything O’Connell Street has to offer

penneys Miguel Ángel Vilel / Flickr Miguel Ángel Vilel / Flickr / Flickr

Every summer students flock to Ireland from all over Spain to visit Penneys, the famous Irish gift shop. You’ve got to wonder would they even bother coming here if we didn’t have Penneys. Definitely the highlight of many holidays to Ireland.

6. Discover Ireland’s answer to holiday resorts

northside Google Maps Google Maps

The Dublin suburb of Coolock offers an abundance of amenities. Minutes away from the airport and an airport hotel with Supermacs basically in it’s car park, it saves you a lot of walking. There’s a swimming pool on the roof for kids and a bar in the car park right next to a Paddy Power for the grownups.

7. See what transport options we have to offer (it changes daily)

transport Barry Cronin / PA Archive/PA Images Barry Cronin / PA Archive/PA Images / PA Archive/PA Images

There’s nothing like the thrill of going somewhere and not knowing if you will be able to come back! Thanks to our government neglecting to engage in a major transport dispute, this is an adventure that Irish people get to experience every day.

Because of major disruption to all routes outside of Dublin, it’s advisable to only book activities close to the airport or your hotel. This makes Northside Shopping Centre an even more appealing place to visit.

 

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