IT SEEMS THAT the doughnut craze in Dublin may finally be coming to an end. Aungier Danger has shut its doors for good and according to owner Phil Costello, Dublin specifically is ‘over the doughnut boom’.
Fancy doughnuts have made it to Kells. No surer sign of an impending economic crash pic.twitter.com/BO9BZI3sgx
— The Noble Mucksavage (@JurassicArse) January 16, 2018
This means that the market is now open for another ridiculous trend to take over the city for the next two to three years until we get bored of it and move onto the next thing. Here are seven ideas we have for what that trend should be.
1. Shutter sunglasses
Remember back in 2008 when shutter sunglasses were all people we were wearing? Well they need to make a comeback. We need shutter sunglasses popups all over Dublin and we need them now.
I just had a flashback to when everyone bought shutter sunglasses because of Kanye West.
— vic (@vmikot) February 16, 2018
2. Penny Farthings
Ok, just hear me out on this one. We have all seen people using scooters, skateboards, hoverboards and unicycles to get to work. What if we introduced an element of class to the work commute by bringing back Penny Farthings? At least Dublin Bus drivers wouldn’t be able to claim that they couldn’t see you when they try to run you off the road.
3. Coddle
It’s basically the only dish we can claim as being Irish meaning its time has probably come. We need coddle cafés on every corner of Dublin. We need entire food festivals devoted to coddle. THE TIME IS NOW PEOPLE.
The fact it *looks* like a bowl of dick pics floating in baby sick is *entirely* beside the point. Risotto looks like curdled porridge too, but you'll never hear an Irish Times food critic say that.
— Terence Trent Darby O'Gill. (@EXECUTIVESTEVE) June 4, 2018
4. Poitín
It’s stronger than most spirits and doesn’t come with the notions and emotional baggage that gin does. Sure it might make you go blind if it isn’t made correctly but sure isn’t the risk of trying something new half the fun?
I made the Poitín cocktail I said I’d make in the podcast. It’s poitín, ginger beer, cider, lime juice, mint sprig and a cinnamon stick for sucking pic.twitter.com/xaMtT5KDyA
— Rubber Bandits (@Rubberbandits) April 13, 2018
5. Wagon Wheels
The power of Nathan Carter known no bounds because ‘Wagon Wheel’ is somehow one of the most popular songs around. So let’s utilise its popularity to inspire Wagon Wheel popups where you can get a Wagon Wheel sandwich, Wagon Wheel cocktails and Wagon Wheel themed merch. You know you want it.
6. Doughballs
Is there a better hangover cure than pizza dough filled with garlic and cheese? No there is not. We should be able to have 24/7 access to doughballs with 15 different shops popping up each offering slightly different variations of fillings. The doughnut craze but make it savoury basically.
Domino's dough balls need to be upgraded to a class 2 relic.
— Bovril Lavigne (@omgDebbie) November 15, 2017
7. Horoscope cocktails
Yes I know we’re drowning in different cocktail bars around Dublin but do we have a specific cocktail bar dedicated to horoscopes? No, no we do not. Do we need one? Yes absolutely. Think of all the delicious cocktails we could assign to the star signs. The worst ones would go to Pisces. Obviously.
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