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LAST NIGHT, EAMON Dunphy expertly added himself to the ranks of those who have said ‘f***’ on live TV without realising their mic was on.

It’s an illustrious club. And together, they constitute something of a lesson in on-air cursing.

Here’s what we’ve learned. (NSFW for language, obviously.)

1. First impressions count – so begin your broadcast by simply uttering a string of random swear words

2. If you become frustrated with some item of TV equipment, feel free to curse lavishly at it. Chances are the microphone isn’t on.

Jason Heien / Vimeo

3. Same goes for your co-anchors. Do you want to ask them what the f*** they’re doing? Sure, go ahead.

4. In the unlikely event that you are unhappy with your performance, it’s best to vent your frustration straight away

5. And when it’s time to go home, let the viewers know how you feel. They’ll appreciate it.

More: ‘We’re not on air are we?’ – Eamon Dunphy drops an f-bomb live on TV>