ENDA KENNY HAS just achieved every hipster’s dream. He’s off to the SXSW showcase in Austin next month.

The event is a renowned hipster mecca, featuring a range of music, film and interactive conferences over March 13-22. Enda will be speaking about how the Irish economy has grown and it’s reputation as a tech hub. He needs to know what he’s in for.

1. First things first, wear your Google glass

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Don’t be an old fogey.

If this isn’t possible, at least throw on some frameless glasses.

2. If you hit any of the shows, watch out for vomiting dancers

Lady Gaga did THIS last year.

Niall Carson Niall Carson

We know.

3. Don’t let it stop you dancing though

There’s always bands like this to enjoy.

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4. Grow a beard

It’s the only way to fit in.

5. Always expect the unexpected, you never know what’s around the corner

Just go with it. All conventions are out the window here.

6. You’ll have to change your euro to Bitcoin

Ask about it at the airport’s currency exchange.

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7. Don’t make assumptions when you meet someone

You just can never tell who is who. Best to err on the side of caution, it’s like asking a woman if she’s pregnant–risky.

Tiny hipster, or Amish child? You decide. rdischy rdischy

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8. SXSW hipsters have been known to enjoy alternative modes of transport

Please avoid all references to Horse Outside. Don’t mortify us any further.

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9. Don’t pretend you know a band just to look cool

Jimmy Kimmel WILL find you, and he WILL film you. Neil Patrick Harassment and What the F*ck Bruce Jenner do NOT exist. At least they didn’t this time last year. Are you writing this down?

10. When hitting the tech circuit, here’s our essential way to blag through any conversation

You, are welcome.

11. Drinking out of a normal glass is… unconventional

NO, STOP.

Mark Stedman Photocall Ireland! Mark Stedman Photocall Ireland!

Your options in Austin are Mason jars…

Or toilets. Don’t mind the sign.

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