WE CAN’T BELIEVE we are still dealing with all of these things in the Year of Our Lord 2016.
1. The lack of seating in shops
Surely there’s a better way for us to save our tired feet than perching precariously on display tables.
Penneys has taken steps to rectify this with seating areas in certain Irish stores, but it’s not nearly widespread enough.
2. Autocorrect sanitising us
WE’RE NOT SAYING ‘DUCKING’, APPLE. Swearing should come as standard.
3. Not being able to top up the Leap Card online
“But you can if you have an Androi-” Well bully for you and your ugly emojis!
4. The scrum to tag off the Leap card after you get off the Luas
There are so few of them, and so many of us. And let’s not even TALK about the louts who reach over you to tag off.
5. Verified By Visa. Just everything to do with Verified By Visa
Ruining lives and smashing dreams for years now, with no sign of a reprieve.
6. Bus Eireann’s ‘WiFi’
“Ha! What WiFi,” says you.
7. Umbrellas, and how crap they are
One only has to look at any bin on a windy, rainy day – AKA standard Irish weather – to see that they are not fit for purpose.
Engineers! Stop making new iPhones every five minutes and come up with a decent umbrella FFS. (Love you, engineers, you’re doing God’s work.)
8. The AIB card reader and the rage it inspires
Did we detect a little frisson of anger there when we mentioned the card reader? Ooh, there it is again! Where is your card reader? You don’t know, do you.
9. And banks only being open from 10am to 4pm
Just two extra hours! That’s all we ask!
10. Self-service tills repeatedly telling you to ‘Please take your items’ while you’re pathetically struggling with your plastic bag
I KNOW, I KNOW! I’M TRYING! THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF ME BEING HERE!
11. This crap
There HAS to be a better way!
12. This crap
*clenches fist in frustration*
13. And Dublin Bus’ Real Time Information
Is the bus really eight minutes away, or will it fly past us just as we’re turning the corner to the stop? Do what you want, Dublin Bus. Just don’t LIE to us.
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