BETWEEN CAREFULLY-crafted, vague status updates, deep stalking, and accidental likes, Facebook has created a whole new minefield of social awkwardness.
But there’s one thing that’s destroying relationships and mortifying people like no other: This guy.
Did you just shiver? That’s because you know all about the Accidental Facebook Messenger Thumb Of Doom (our personal name for it).
It’s positioned in just about the worst place ever
Right there, just where your thumb might rest, near the letters O and P. Right-handed people are in particular danger of jabbing at it when they’re typing in a hurry.
It gets you at the WORST times
Your friend: “My cat just died.”
You:
It just reeks of sarcasm
If you had to illustrate the phrase ‘cool story bro’, you would use this blue thumb. You don’t feel that way, but how’s the other person to know?
And we have to ask, has anyone ever sent it on purpose?
Anytime we’ve ever seen it, it has been accompanied with a flurry of apologies. No one asked for this blue thumb, and nobody wants this blue thumb.
So Facebook, please reconsider. You are ruining our LIVES.
Sincerely,
Everyone
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