THE NEW FIFA 16 was released last week and all FIFA fans are getting bet into it. But what happens when you can’t stand the sight of the game, but your other half can think about? Welcome to FIFA widow(er)hood.
Yes, we’ve made that a thing.
1. This is your view
From day.
To night.
2. You have to deal with them shouting at literally nothing
It’s SO UNFAIR, yet they keep going back for more.
3. Life is now soundtracked by the electronic cheers of an electronic crowd
What does silence sound like? You can’t remember.
https://vine.co/v/bJm2IdAQXAx
4. You’re mildly baffled at how the commentator knows what’s going on
HOW DO THEY KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING?
5. When you think you’ve left the house and are on safe ground, out comes the app
6. WHAT. A. GOAL.
Familiarise yourself with this phrase. You’ll be hearing it a lot.
7. Your plans and life now consists of segments
Communication will now take place at times known as ‘half’ and ‘full’.
This is a card you would love to receive over anything:
Usually you just get this text instead:
8. You feel a strange sense of rivalry with EA sports
9. And you know they’re winning
10. If you do actually play, and beat them, expect a bad mood incoming
11. Getting the TV is almost an unachievable goal
Godspeed ye, all abandoned at the hand of football games.
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