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Dublin: 14 °C Thursday 7 November, 2024

11 problems only forever-cold people will understand

You there, under the manky blanket with the hot water bottle.

1. Other people’s disbelieving tone

2. Being unable to get comfortable on the sofa without a manky blanket over you

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Because you can’t imagine sitting there watching TV without it. It wouldn’t feel right.

3. (See also: obsessive fear of draughts)

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4. The fingers! The fingers!

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(Yes, it’s called Raynaud’s phenomenon.)

5. Wondering how other people aren’t cold, given that they’re hardly wearing ANY clothes in comparison

6. Out-of-control tea consumption

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Not because you want more tea. Because you want its sweet, sweet warmth.

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7. Possibly inappropriate, physical feelings about your hot water bottle

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8. The ongoing conflict between the need for fresh air, and the need for your entire body to be under the duvet

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9. The sad knowledge that your own feet cause your loved ones pain and anguish

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10. Making this face when someone tells you to get out of bed

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11. And after many months of miserable weather… this.

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More: How to make your other half turn the heating on>

Author
Michael Freeman
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