THIS IS THE French Laundry restaurant.

Jill Clardy Jill Clardy

It’s in the Napa Valley in California. It’s got three Michelin Stars and is the number one eaterie in the state. It’s number three in the country.

The tasting menu will set you back around $295 and features dishes like ‘Rillette of Liberty Farm Pekin Duck’ and ‘Cabot Clothbound Cheddar’.

The French Laundry is also the latest restaurant San Francisco online magazine The Bold Italic visited as part of a series whereby they get small children to review fancy, notions-y joints.

A four-year-old girl called Lyla to be precise.

The Bold Italic The Bold Italic

So, while Anthony Bourdain called The French Laundry “the best restaurant in the world”, what would Lyla make of it?

Avocado Cornet - Avocado, creme fraiche and a sesame tuile/biscuity cone

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According to The Bold Italic Lyla’s disappointment upon finding out that this was not ice cream was palpable. She eventually conceded:

I like the white part better than the green part.

Summer Melon Soup - with chilli, cashews and rocket

Tasted like an icepop, apparently.

Oysters and Pearls – ‘Sabayon of Pearl Tapioca with Island Creek Oysters and White Sturgeon Caviar’

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She refused to try this one. Don’t really blame her.

The Bold Italic The Bold Italic

She also refused to try the Citrus-Cured Pacific Yellowtail.

Hen Egg Custard - with a ‘Ragoût of Périgord Truffles’

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She liked this one, although thought everyone around her was cracked for suggesting that it was a real egg. Anyone with half a brain could tell that it was not.

‘Tasted like babies’

After the egg came the Tour De Canapés Viande, which came with bread. Which she ate all of. The Jardiniére de Legumes came with pepper that tasted “like babies” and was ridiculously small (allow us to remind you of the $295 pricetag). The lobster was rejected because she was convinced it was prawns.

She also sampled the clothbound cheddar, some rare lamb (“this one isn’t delicious”) and some very expensive gnocchi with truffle.

All in all, it was a success. She asked to be taken back there (good luck with that Lyla), but we’re not convinced she ate more than enough for two little birds.

Still though. One of the more entertaining restaurant reviews you’re likely to come across.

You can check out The Bold Italic’s other child-friendly restaurant reviews here, here, and here.

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