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Just 15 of the best Google reviews of Irish nightclubs
IRISH NIGHTCLUBS AREN’T exactly known all over the world for their quality. Given our ‘put up and shut up’ attitude most Irish people accept that our nightclubs are a bit crap and get over it by drinking massively instead and pretending our nights out are better than they actually are.
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Some people aren’t exactly willing to do this and let their frustations out via a good old Google review. Here are some of the best we could find.
Diceys, Dublin
‘No Portlaois need apply’
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Laois can be grim but discrimination might be pushing it a little bit.
‘Cheap drinks with cheap people’
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In fairness now if you’re having a 30th in Diceys then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.
‘Quite commercial’
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I feel if your gripe is with the fact they play Despacito then you’re probably not going to find luck anywhere around Harcourt Street. Also the Macarena is amazing. How dare.
‘Peculiar displays of humanity’
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It’s nice to know what Owen gets up to on his nights out isn’t it? That being said ‘peculiar displays of humanity’ is a pretty good description of any Irish nightclub on any given night.
Carbon, Galway
Hat thieves.
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There is so much anger conveyed in this short review and it provokes so many questions. Who is Clinton? What happened to his hat? Why does Josh think Carbon have it? Why won’t they give it back? I NEED ANSWERS PEOPLE.
No smoke.
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The people of Galway clearly like their short and very specific reviews. In fairness to DJ Tony, you can never have too much smoke machine.
Havana Browns, Cork
Cat killers?
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Michael here obviously knows something we don’t. There could be a perfectly innocent explanation for this. Maybe they were having a seance?
Voodoo Rooms, Cork
Your average club.
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Anthony here seemingly disappointed that a nightclub in Ireland turned out to be like a nightclub in Ireland. I for one, am shocked.
Mischief (Formally Mantra) Maynooth, Kildare
Batman Barman
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Nothing like rocking up to a bar only to find a lazy Batman who won’t make you a cocktail. There’s nothing worse.
Typical Kildare
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I have never seen a more Kildare review in my life. We are such an average county and we represent that in any and every way possible.
Copper Faced Jacks
We couldn’t do a review of Irish nightclubs without leaving out the most famous one of them all.
An innocent conga line.
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I for one am very curious about what exactly defines a happy and playful conga line? Is there any other kind of conga line?
No memory
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God bless people who don’t remember anything from the night before but still want to leave a review.
Dead DJ?
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We need a true crime podcast about this apparently dead DJ in Coppers immediately. Someone get Danny Dyer.
Lost Tequila
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Not sure why you’d give Coppers a one star review when by the sounds of it you knocked over your own tequila shot. Brandy here must really like tequila which I guess is sort of ironic.
Failed youth.
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*Mad World plays sadly in the background*.
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0 Stars Coppers Dicey's Google Reviews