1. You have a bedtime and you are put out if anything gets in the way of it
2. You think Mrs Brown’s Boys is an absolute hoot now begod
3. You have said “Isn’t it great to sit down?” in all sincerity
4. The Chase was your gateway drug. Now you’re addicted to Pointless, Countdown, and Tipping Point
5. And the soaps too. You love the soaps. Even Emmerdale
6. You’ve had to ask someone to explain a certain Snapchat/Instagram/Facebook feature to you
7. You have considered the merits of a shopping trolley…
8. …Or you actually have a shopping trolley, and you LOVE IT
9. Your poor knees are in BITS (or some other suitably nan-like health complaint)
10. You love a scratch card
11. And if you haven’t already done Telly Bingo, you’ve thought about it
12. You’ve loudly shushed someone for talking over the radio/telly
13. Short skirts no longer hold any appeal. You like to be adequately covered
14. Same with knickers. The bigger the better
15. You call people your own age ‘pet’, ‘loveen’, or ‘chicken’
16. Having to leave the house after 8pm is a great upset to you
17. You’re disappointed if you don’t get to drink at least five cups of tea a day
18. And you wouldn’t have a digestive to go with it now, would you? Ah thanks peteen
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