EVERY MORNING, we dig through the celebrity dirt to bring you the best of it. Here’s The Dredge…

Carrie Reichert, the girl (or 40-year-old-woman, depending on who you listen to) who claimed an amorous encounter with Prince Harry’s royal nakedness, is reportedly now in jail. She was arrested at San Diego airport accused of writing $21,672 in bad checks.

A law enforcement source said “How stupid can you be?” (Radar/NY Daily News)

Meanwhile Harry has been letting things slip on the royal nudity front in recent days, appearing obstinately encased in suits and other such garb. Luckily, Kate Middleton’s cousin (remember her?) has rushed to the rescue – dressing as the Statue of Liberty, only without the toga. (TMZ)

Meanwhile, weedy teenage megastars One Direction have spoken of their admiration for the helicopter-flying, Vegas-partying, penthouse-suite-occupying royal. ”I think he’s actually such a strong figure, because he’s real,” Louis Tomlinson said. (Perez)

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The Words

Dark hair, olive complexion: The qualities that Tom Cruise allegedly instructed Scientology authorities to find him a woman with during the “girlfriend derby” eventually won by dark-haired, olive-complexioned Katie Holmes. Those same authorities reportedly chuckled at his private confessions in whiskey-fuelled late night sessions. Also, Lindsay Lohan has denied everything. (Radar, Vanity Fair, Perez)

Dark hair, olive complexion, one careful owner (Marco Ugarte/AP/Press Association Images)

Elvis: The role model being touted by managers for Robert Pattinson’s soon-to-happen music career, enormous weight gain and prescription drug addiction. OK, just the music career. Meanwhile Kristen Stewart has made her first red carpet appearance since the scandal, and is entering grief counselling over the Robstengate fallout, maybe. (Perez, Mail Online, National Enquirer)

Do I look like Elvis now? How about now? (Joel Ryan/AP/Press Association Images)

Not amused: How Beyoncé felt when Kim Kardashian tried to muscle in on a film being made about Jay-Z. “She took Kim to one side and told her that the day wasn’t about her,” a witness at Hova’s Made In America music festival said. “Kim was fuming.” Jay-Z apparently had to tell them to “play nice”. (Radar)

How Beyoncé may look when not amused (Matt Sayles/AP/Press Association Images)

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The Dirt

Rihanna has a totally new haircut OMGOMGOMG. (HuffPo)

Robbie Williams’ biggest regret? That would be not making “a couple of sex tapes”. (The Sun)

Brian McFadden fell over in the gym and hurt himself, diddums. (Irish Daily Star)

Anne Hathaway has postponed her wedding because her barnet is the incorrect length. (Now)

Former Miss Universe Ireland Rozanna Purcell can’t get a boyfriend. (Irish Sun)

Rozanna Purcell is looking for love. Everywhere. (Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)

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The Barrel Scraper

She’s back! (Perez)