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12 essential facts of life for people who HATE sharing food

These are our chips. NOT YOURS.

1. One time, someone casually took a chip from your plate. You’ve never forgiven them

As brazen as you like! And not a WORD to you about it.

2. Since then, you have developed catlike food reflexes

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3. The “Just ONE bit?” people are the worst of all, though

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These people are flat out ignoring your hard ‘no’, and they should not be trusted.

4. Sometimes you relent, and your trust is broken even further

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You said they could take ONE. That is clearly a handful. *inhales sharply*

5. Your best friends are the people who understand that they should not do any of these things

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They don’t ask for any of your food, you don’t ask for any of theirs, and everyone is happy.

6. And your significant other was warned early on

Just because we’re shifting doesn’t mean you have unlimited access to my chips.

7. You’re suspicious of anyone who compliments your meal

“Mmm, that looks lovely.”

You:

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8. You despise anyone who suggests going for tapas

The whole idea is to share. You’re not sure if you can get around that.

9. And if you get roped into it, you keep an eye on all food consumed

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Am I going to eat my fill? Will all this sharing result in an empty stomach? That’s not on.

10. You laugh when people try to reason with you by saying ‘You couldn’t possibly eat all that yourself’

WATCH ME.

11. You’ve been called ‘selfish’ and ‘immature’ more times than is fair

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To be labelled selfish for protecting what is yours? Fine!

12. But you’ll never go hungry, that’s for sure

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No. Because you’re always looking out for number one (your stomach).

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11 tweets that sum up the glory of the sneaky naggin>

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