TODAY MARKS DAME Helen Mirren’s 68th birthday, and sure she doesn’t look a bit of it.

She may be getting old, but here are a few reasons why she’s still cooler than you:

1. She hates the mainstream

I decided to get a tattoo because it was the most shocking thing I could think of doing. Now I’m utterly disgusted and shocked because it’s become completely mainstream, which is unacceptable to me.

If I’d had children and had a girl, the first words I would have taught her would have been “f*** off”.

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2. She refuses to grow up

We’re all idiots when we’re young. We don’t think we are, but we are. So we should be.

Lewis Whyld/PA Archive

3. She’s mad for the hair dye

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4. She loves thrift shopping

I’m a get-a-dress-at-the-thrift-shop-but-open-a-bottle-of-champagne kind of person.

Lewis Whyld/PA Archive

The whole thing of clothes is insane. You can spend a dollar on a jacket in a thrift store. And you can spend a thousand dollars on a jacket in a shop. And if you saw those two jackets walking down the street, you probably wouldn’t know which was which.

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5. She doesn’t like popular events

Speaking on the Oscars:

It’s the creme-de-la-creme of bullshit.

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6. She prefers bearded men

7. She’s gone green

I can dig that beautiful earth-mother thing, feeding the masses.

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8. She’s pretty happy with herself

Being me right now is sort of amazing.

I am so happy that I didn’t have children. Well, you know, because I’ve had freedom.