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1. Longbourn would be a large but ramshackle farm outside Naas that Mr Bennet is just about keeping afloat
2. But Mrs Bennet likes to keep up appearances, haunting the local boutiques and organising coffee mornings for the Hospice where she gossips with her pals
3. Jane would be a primary school teacher who is proclaimed by many as “a fine girl now, and a credit to the family”
4. Lizzy, meanwhile, is doing a Masters in Philosophy in Trinity and has a habit of ranting about current affairs at the dinner table
5. Kitty and Lydia dream of being influencers and worship So Sue Me. Mary is heavily involved in Tumblr fandoms and spends most of the time writing fan fiction
6. Mr Bingley is the new doctor that has just arrived in town, and causes a stir when it’s revealed he’s building a house for himself. Building! In this day and age!
7. Jane meets him after presenting herself at his surgery for her annual flu shot. They bond over a mutual appreciation for Ed Sheeran and Room To Improve
8. Mr Darcy met Bingley at Clongowes. He works in Facebook, lives in Ranelagh, and comes to Bingley’s on weekends to sneer at the ‘culchies’
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9. Darcy and Lizzy would run into each other in the local on a Friday night, where within 20 minutes they’d get into a disagreement about the Jobstown trial and Lizzy would resolve to never speak to that arse Darcy again
10. But there are no taxis to take Lizzy and Jane back to Longbourn, so Mr Bingley persuades them to stay the night at his instead of walking the poorly lit country roads
11. Mr Collins would be a Fine Gael county councillor, and try to woo Lizzy with talk of road frontage and his dreams of being Taoiseach
12. But she’d be mad after Wickham, a dashing fellow Trinity student who supports all the causes she does (because it’s good for chatting up the women)
13. After a bit of bantering on Twitter, Darcy reckons Lizzy is into him and slides into her DMs to ask her out for a drink. She says “I will in my shite”
14. But horror! Lizzy spots on Lydia’s Instagram Story that she’s run off to London with Wickham, where she’s holed up in some grotty flat in Clapham
15. She’s confronted in Trinity’s Front Square by Catherine De Bourgh, Darcy’s aunt and a theology lecturer who cannot believe her darling nephew is associating with people like this
16. Darcy, who happens to be working in Facebook’s London offices for the week, goes off in search of Lydia and drags her back home with him, thus earning Lizzy’s approval and a thank you pint (which turns into several more pints)
17. Jane and Bingley would marry in a lavish but tasteful ceremony at Powerscourt House that later appears in the Irish Times Magazine
18. Whereas Darcy and Lizzy would send Mrs Bennett into a frenzy by declaring their intentions to never officially tie the knot and remain child-free. Her poor nerves!
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Monday 23 December, 2024
Monday 23 December, 2024
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18 things that would happen if Pride and Prejudice was set in modern-day Ireland
1. Longbourn would be a large but ramshackle farm outside Naas that Mr Bennet is just about keeping afloat
2. But Mrs Bennet likes to keep up appearances, haunting the local boutiques and organising coffee mornings for the Hospice where she gossips with her pals
3. Jane would be a primary school teacher who is proclaimed by many as “a fine girl now, and a credit to the family”
4. Lizzy, meanwhile, is doing a Masters in Philosophy in Trinity and has a habit of ranting about current affairs at the dinner table
5. Kitty and Lydia dream of being influencers and worship So Sue Me. Mary is heavily involved in Tumblr fandoms and spends most of the time writing fan fiction
6. Mr Bingley is the new doctor that has just arrived in town, and causes a stir when it’s revealed he’s building a house for himself. Building! In this day and age!
7. Jane meets him after presenting herself at his surgery for her annual flu shot. They bond over a mutual appreciation for Ed Sheeran and Room To Improve
8. Mr Darcy met Bingley at Clongowes. He works in Facebook, lives in Ranelagh, and comes to Bingley’s on weekends to sneer at the ‘culchies’
9. Darcy and Lizzy would run into each other in the local on a Friday night, where within 20 minutes they’d get into a disagreement about the Jobstown trial and Lizzy would resolve to never speak to that arse Darcy again
10. But there are no taxis to take Lizzy and Jane back to Longbourn, so Mr Bingley persuades them to stay the night at his instead of walking the poorly lit country roads
11. Mr Collins would be a Fine Gael county councillor, and try to woo Lizzy with talk of road frontage and his dreams of being Taoiseach
12. But she’d be mad after Wickham, a dashing fellow Trinity student who supports all the causes she does (because it’s good for chatting up the women)
13. After a bit of bantering on Twitter, Darcy reckons Lizzy is into him and slides into her DMs to ask her out for a drink. She says “I will in my shite”
14. But horror! Lizzy spots on Lydia’s Instagram Story that she’s run off to London with Wickham, where she’s holed up in some grotty flat in Clapham
15. She’s confronted in Trinity’s Front Square by Catherine De Bourgh, Darcy’s aunt and a theology lecturer who cannot believe her darling nephew is associating with people like this
16. Darcy, who happens to be working in Facebook’s London offices for the week, goes off in search of Lydia and drags her back home with him, thus earning Lizzy’s approval and a thank you pint (which turns into several more pints)
17. Jane and Bingley would marry in a lavish but tasteful ceremony at Powerscourt House that later appears in the Irish Times Magazine
18. Whereas Darcy and Lizzy would send Mrs Bennett into a frenzy by declaring their intentions to never officially tie the knot and remain child-free. Her poor nerves!
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Gemma Collins is going to a fan’s house for takeaway after they put a cut-out of her in their gaff>
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Books JANE AUSTEN ooh mr darcy pride and prejudice